Dr. Shuba Charles psychiatrist

dear mam, How r u??? WIsh u a very Happy Mother's Day!!! Mam I am very depressed that u r not coming in makkal tv 's KTVT ,we don't feel like watching the prog without u mam? we r like keft in the centre of heavy traffic circle ,don't know where to go?? pls make a come back soon mam. Mam u had advised me to take my three yr old son to a psychiatrist ,I did so mam.Doctor said nothing to worry he will be alright .They did some test for his strength and advised a syrup [KIDICARE] for his growth and well being.I am continuing that and hope he will be ok soon-- Thankyou for all yr advise mam.Last request pls make a come back soon on KTVT. Thanks and warm regards, vatsa
- vatsa

Dear dr, Pls reply to prblm.Waiting for ur advice.
- dhanya

dear doctor, I understand what you say.But i am under compulsion my mom does not want to leave but she does not support me either. I too do not want to miss my parents.pls give some advice to my mom so that she will convince my dad. she is very much afraid of her in-laws because they blame her for whatever happened to me.Pls advice mam.
- dhanya

Dear Madam, my wife (Ruth Santly) would like to have councelling with you over telephone. Is it possible? We come to know about you from Makkal Tholaikaatchi. Please reply and tell us how do we contact you and the procedures. endrum anbudan, Morthekai
- Morthekai

I am stuck with a big probelm in my married life. I need face to face personal counselling with you Madam.
- Nandiniq

Dear Krithika, This is a psycho-somatic disorder. That is a psychological fear and anxiety affecting the body causing the problems in your body. You should consult a psychiatrist consistently. Two weeks of medications will not be of help. You will need counselling and at least one year of medicines, till your mind gets strong and your body is relieved of disturbances. There is no evil sprits. No evil spirits can get inside the body. It is only psychological and you will soon be alright.
- Shuba Charles

Thank u so much ma. Feel great to hear these words. Now am very much happy. Am praying god to continue ur wonderful service without any problem. keep going ma.
- Aishwarya

I'm in love with her for the past 6 years.We got oppose from her parents due to difference in religion.Her parents are from a village & they are not ready to accept our love.she has a elder sister & younger brother.Her elder sister got married & settled in singapore & Her younger brother is working in a software company. Most of her relations are educated even some of them are teachers,but still no one from her side is ready to accept her love including her sibblings.On my side intially my parents opposed me but later they agreed to our love as I'm the only son next to my elder sister. Her parents are giving trouble to her in many ways both physically & mentally.Whenever she goes to her native plave to visit her parents,they force her to leave the job & also put more sentimental pressure on her.They threaten her that they will sucide if she marries me or will kill me if she does. So she is afraid to take any decision. My parents tried speaking to her parents to make things smooth,but still they are very stubborn & had insulted back asking my parents not to come to them in any means.My parents are very much worried on me that I'm not married for long time even they had accepted our love.They are even ready to accept her even if she comes out of her house. I can't even imagine marrying someone other than her.She also feels the same.We have more affection on each other.she afraids if she comes out it will affect her parent's living.At the same time,She is also not ready to leave me. Both of us are now 30.We are struggling a lot for many years & don't know what to do.We are not happy & didn't have a good sleep for the past years I know.Both of us have many dreams on marriage.She has more affection on her parents as well as on me.She wants both of us.I couldn't compel her to come out.If I say she feels that I'm not understanding her feelings & starts crying.Her health is vry poor becuase of this.Seeing her sad everytime,I even asked her to marry someone as her parent's wish.She is not ready for that too.I can't see her crying again & again.We are very much depressed in life.We are in a deadlock & don't know what to do & whom to ask except God.We are praying only to God & waiting for his help..Meanwhile can you please advice us what to do?
- Raha

Dear Doctor, Thank you for your advice. You have suggested to visit a psychiatrist. But my husband is very adamant and he will not come with me. If he knows that i have visited alone, then for that also he may fight with me or may be he wont speak to me. We are living in north India, so i have to go alone if he doesn't come.I forgot to tell you something doctor. He will not smoke even once for continuous 5 days if he is with me. But why he does not want to quit that habit doctor. Plz advice me.
- Swetha

dear madam, i am 25 years girl, i have completed my B.E civil ,MBA . in my 19th year, studying B.E 2ND year, i got a chain of problems.suddenly my behaviour has changed, my body tend to jump up and down when i lay in bed. my sleep has been reduced. we saw a doctor, she suggests neurologists.he said i am perfect. i examined my blood,whether i have thyroid, it is normal. my hands are twisting sometimes. someone said i got evil spirit inside. my question you is, is evil spirit can be inside to a persons body? is it true? what you will suggests me. it is already 7 years, i am into this problem. i saw psychiatrists too. he suggests me to take tablet for 2 weeks. i took but i could not find any changes. i have decided to suicide. i dont have any other hope. it kills me every day. i could not get outside,mingle with people. i have only less confidence on me. i find difficult to face people. atlast, i want to ask you, your every words you speak in makkal tv inspires me to live a happy life. i want to be a normal person. me and my mother is mentally depressed because of this problem. -krithika
- krithika

Dear Dhanya, No marriage expires on its own if it is within the country's law. If you are married and still living like this means something very unusual. Go to a psychiatrist and if possible a Lawyer
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sanoj, Good that you are willing to see the other side of the coin.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Swetha, Consult a psychiatrist to stay away from worries and help him to obstain from smoking.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Daughter, It is basic human need to help others or offer gifts to others when one has reached a position in life. It is sort of announcing to his sister that he has attained something in life and that he can afford a set of diamond ear studs as gift to someone worthy of his attention. It is a psychological need and a great self-esteem booster. It will strengthen the male ego and help him to achieve much more. Do not worry about saving money now. Let your family achieve status in the eyes of your in-laws first. Then he will be energised to earn 100 times more.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Guna Personal matters can be discussed only in person. Contact 044-28362531/32/33. Personal e mails are not entertained.
- Shuba Charles

Thank you doctor.I am ready to do as you have advised.But my problem is I am the only daughter to my parents that's why its is very hard to leave my parents.My mom asks me to wait but I do not know why is she saying that I clearly don't understand she is accepting my love or not.As you said I will go to psychiatrist.Doctor I want to inform that me and my lover did registered our marriage in 2008 my dad says it is expired since there is no proof that we lived together.As i told you after completing my studies in2008 I am at for 6 months I worked in chennai in 2009 that time my came to know about our love affair from that till date I am staying at home.Is my registered marriage expired.Pls advice me doctor pls.
- dhanya

Thanks for ur advice Dr.
- Sanoj

Hello Doctor, My husband is a smoker and I know this before my marriage. He said he will stop after smoking after marriage. After marriage he stopped smoking in the presence of me.. but it hurts to me so much that he smokes in his office...I am 25 and he is 33 yrs old.. We got married before 2 yrs and we started to plan for a baby last year june and we have not succeeded yet.. He is spoiling his health and my happiness because of smoking habit.. I am worried how to make him stop that mam.. Plz help me
- Swetha

Dear mam, after a long tym ....firstly belated tamil newyear wishes to u...i have a doubt...i want t know if im wrong or not so that i can change myself for good...my hus is the best...he was gifted a induction stove at office we already have one and he said we can give it to his sister...i said lets keep it and give to someone as a gift...then he said he once told his sister wen he got job he will buy her a diamond ring...its been 5 years since he said that...recently he got a promotion and he siad ill buy ring for her...i got angry and said u've been promoted and 1st thing u think is to buy her ring?...i told buy for ur mother instead...and now for his sisters's daughter(6 years old) he wishes to buy her diamond earings....i got angry again and said u can buy costly stuff to that kid when she is matured enough...for now buy her gold...also added that ur giving much importance to ur sissy...he said ok ok...but am i wrong?im not selfish...i appreciate him buying for his parents but when it comes to his sister i totally hate it...also she is earning and is elder to him...we are newly married and need to start saving for OUR FAMILY...please reply me mam...i dont like his sister behaviour that much ...may be thats why i think so...after our marriage i bought costly bangles for all (my mom,sis,his mom and his sis)all accepted it....but she got it looked at it and said the pearls may wear out also its not fitting and returned it back to me...(that was the rudest and ill mannered thing one could do to anyone who presents us something with love)from that day i stopped giving anything to her...coz she doesnt know how to respond to people at times////waiting for ur reply...am i wrong?i dont feel she deserves it...
- Daughter

Hello Dr, Any personal email which i can share my worries to seek your advice? Kinda not comfortable to share it in the wall. Thanks.
- Guna

Dear Vatsala, Very good. As a mother, you should do your best for your son and I am happy that you are doing it. Keep in touch.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Hema, Your reply is there
- Shuba Charles

Dear Ramalakshmi, Good
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sanoj, Sorry for the delay
- Shuba Charles

Dear Hema, You are agitated and depressed. Being in love should make a person beautiful in and out. Negative feelings like jealousy, possessiveness reflects self-centered attitude. When in love you should think about the well being of the person you love, not about you. When you think only about you, self pity increases and you lose your inner beauty. Plan how to make your man happy and make the world respect him. Clinging to him emotionally will scare him away.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sanoj, I do not think that caste or parental Approval are the matters. It is what she put into the relationship versus what you put in. Like in a business, we invest our time, effort, money and lots of emotions into relationships. I think she is disappointed and lacks trust in you. When sex happens without legal sanction like marriage it produces lot of guilt and shame in the girl's mind and disdain and recklessness in the boy's mind. The relationship is bound to break sooner or later, unless both put in lots of efforts to stay united. I think she has the feeling that you have used her and do not respect and support her sincerely. Proving that you value, respect and support her will only win her back to you.
- Shuba Charles

Hello mam, Thankyou for your sweet advice.I went through Aishwarya's letters to u mam; It is all so true ,it is like she has actually stolen my words which was in my mind about you mam!! Definitely I am taking my son to a psychiatrist .I hv spoken to my husband also abt this.He did not respond ;but I hv decided to take my son myself even without his consent .I will write to u after consulting the doctor {psy] mam. And I happened to see yr last week's prog on Makkal tv,reg not to act as a teacher with our kidds and reg taking tension with reg to our children's studies!! It is so true that we parents are all doing lot of mistakes.A fter listening to yr advice I hv decided not to trouble /torture my son for his studies and school work!! Thankyou once again mam!!! Have a nice day mam----- bye
- Vatsala Mahendran

Dr waiting for your advice
- hema

Dear Lakshmi, I will take care of your mother when she comes. Such high performance, inspite of cultural variations can usurpe all your feel good hormones. Constant intake of anti thyroid medication can also deplete you and cause hypothyroidism causing irritable depression and weakness. Check your current thyroid levels at two different centres. Because it is a very sensitive test and false positive and false negative results are common. Mood elevators can also help but first rule out hypo thyroid state.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Johncy, Hyperhydrosis is a skin problem. If excessive sweating is caused by fear and anxiety, which can be unconscious also, a consultation with a psychiatrist can help.
- Shuba Charles

Good ,Priya.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Dhanya, By now you should have the guts to act. Come out and get married to the person you love or accept their choice. Nobody can serve two masters or ride in two boats. Do not become a prisoner to circumstances. Be assertive. Take charge of your life. The matter with you is not your love affair. It is your lack of confidence, courage, clear thinking and definite action. Consult a psychiatrist along with your parents and take anti depressants. It will boost up your spirits.
- Shuba Charles

I read ur advice mam...i will do..Thank you so much mam.
- Ramalakshmi

Dear Dr. waiting for ur reply...plz dr. give me ur suggestion soon..
- Sanoj

Dear dr, i am 26yrs old. I am going to marry on sep 2012 (love marriage).his name s raj.we are from different religion iam hindu n he s cristian.dr now my problem is i acept if raj take care anyone then me .i cannot take it normal even he takecare his brother ,parents,frens.he left his family because they did not agree for our marriage .me n raj wait 3years to get his parents permision. Bt his parent agree n postpond 3yrs with silly reasons(jatagam,relative).apart from all that from the day i start love him i cannot acept he share the love with others.wen i explain 2 him my pain he said he have oni me.but if he wil be 1st person care of his family.i know what i hope s not fair bt i can't control myself.he touch anyone just to help event guy frens also i feel like his love on me reduce n share with others.i can realise that it s wrong but i can't control.every time wen i face this situation i get pain at middle of heart(breast part),headache.please help me doctor.
- hema

Dear Madam,Its a pleasure for me to share my pains with you....I have completed my B.E and pursuing my M.E.. Also working as a lecturer in Engg. College.. Am in a love with a girl for past 4 yrs. also v where gud friens for past 8 yrs...Bcoz of her motivation and care only I succeded lot in my life...V both loved each other deeply and lived as husband and wife.... V both belong to different caste....By knowing all problems only v loved each other....Now due her family torture she is ready to break up our love.... she is ready to marry a guy for sake of her family happiness.. really i couldnt imagine a life without her...all their family members brainwashed her mind set....To be frank to you,V both had sex many times..As a husband and wife V shared our extreme love through safe sex...By deciding her as my wife I did everything...but now she is ready to break up...I dont know how she is ready to forget me and start a new life with someone else...Really I cant imagine someother person as my life partner... In my family they wish my happiness so they accepted my love...Am under severe depression couldnt concentrate on my job too... Please give me a solution Dr. I spoked to their family but they are not ready to accept...plz give a solution n suggestion for me and her... Actually I came to know about you through my lover...please Dr. give gud solution for both of us... surely I will take care of her with love and affection.....waiting for ur reply mam.....
- Sanoj

Thank you Mam. I have booked appointment for my mom for the coming week. Please help her. Also this is about me. I have a wonderful family -good husband and 5.5 year old daughter and good job. I was a very very confident girl and also role model for most of the people. I came to USA in 2003 for my job.I feel that I have lost the confident level .I am doing good job but somehow feeling emotional numbness. I volunteer as a teacher for music , tamil classes,sloka classes for diversion. But out of that I am somehow feeling sad inside.If you ask me what do you like the most and which one makes you happy -I have no answer. off late I started feeling that everybody are taking advantage of me both at work and personally. I am not happy at work .Also I am losing patience with my daughter and feels very very weak. I cannot hold my daughter and walk in the stairs though she is light weight. I have hyperthyroid and I am taking medicine for the past 7 years.I am doing blood work every 6 months to check the level. I have faced lots of issues immediately after delivery through my my MIL but they are all okay with me now.when I told this to my doctor he told me that I might had post portum depression and not taken care and prescribed me sertraline and asked me to stop after 6 months. But no effect. I become restless without reason and have anxiety too . I am shouting at my daughter for no reason. Needs your help.BTW I am 36 years old.
- lakshmi

sanoj
- Sanoj

Dear mam, I am 27 years old. I suffer from hyperhydrosis right from my childhood. Inspite of several treatments undertaken, I still have the problem. I feel very uncomfortable to face people and I also lose my confidence to a great extent. Is the problem psychologically caused or due to some other problem? Can it be cured mam? Please suggest me. I am in a great stress. Thank you.
- Johncy

mam but my psychatrist doctor didnt speak out much to me than u speak thank you mam,
- priya

thank you mam ,.. sure i wil consult again thank you i wil plan and work out....and report u mam...
- priya

Dear doctor, I've seen your programs in makkal channel. I spoke to you once in that program.I have love affair for past 7 yrs. I am a BE graduate but not allowed to go for a job due to my love affair i am been at home for 3 yrs now.Since me and my lover belong to different caste & religion my parents do not accept for our marriage.i do not want to leave my parents and go away with my lover.my lover's parents also approached and spoke to my dad but my dad is not accepting he says i will not live more than 6 months with lover if we get married.I explained a lot about our relationship but says he cannot accept he says it is below his dignity.I do not how to solve this problem I am very depressed and feeling like its better to die than living in this world.I want both my parents and my lover I love both.I get angry when my friends or relatives get married. All people in our neighborhood ask me and my parents that irritates me a lot.Pls help me solve this problem.Pls help me I am very very depressed pls help me doctor. -dhanya
- dhanya

Dear Vatsa, Go ahead, I have replied you. Do as Aishwarya did. Refer her writings on the wall.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya, Now that I have given my piece of suggestion, it your turn to think about it, elaborate it in your mind, chart out a plan, act accordingly and efficiently see the results and report to me back. O k?
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lakshmi Your mom will need the help of a Psychiatrist to help her get rid of her irrational beliefs, and depression. Please contact 044-28362531/32/33.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Aishwarya, It gives me immense pleasure to know that my words are well taken, elaborated in their minds, acted upon beautifully, experienced nice results and reported back to me....... Thank you Aishwarya, you have filled me with lots of energy and made my DAY!
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya, Nobody creates depression willingly. They fall into depression unconsciously. That is why depression is dramatically cleared by medication. By learning to think in a positive pattern we can avoid depression. Consult your psychiatrist.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya, Consult the same Psychiatrist again and tell about your inability to talk freely. Review will help.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Ramalakshmi, Taking Calsium magnesium supplements will reduce irritability. Thinking about others well being instead of ours and reducing self-pity will also help. If nothing works out consult a Psychiatrist.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lakshmi, MBBS degree is needed to become a Psychiatrist. Go for Psychology degree.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Rekha, Love marriages need true love, lots of patience, courage and tolerance on both the lovers' part. First ensure that. When you reach that level in your love not only your parents, but the whole world will support you. Josium people will tell this and that only. No need to give much importance. Do not antagonise your parents. If you start understanding them, they in turn will start understanding you.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vatsa Take him to a Psychiatrist or a Paediatrician. Psychiatrist is the best choice. Give him gluten free diet. That is wheat free diet. Refer Wikipedia etc. No need to panic. If he takes medicines regularly he will settle down. I can give you directions only. It is for you to execute them successfully.
- Shuba Charles

mam,awaiting yr reply mam----- with great hopes vatsa
- vatsa

Thank u mam.........sure ill speak to my dad about him.....
- Rithu

mam can u advice me....
- priya

Dear Rithu, Tell your daddy first about your friend. See and interact with the person they are interested. You are an adult and wait and choose the person you are going to live with. Parents choice are better than children's because they have more experience and hence better instincts
- Shuba Charles

Testing
- Shuba Charles

Testing
- Testing

My MOM is in India regularly watching your program. her age is 53 and she is deeply depressed .She's feeling that noone is giving importance to her and seeing everything negative. My father had lot of extra martal affairs before and now refined. But in some astrology somebody told that my father and her lawyer are husband and wife in previous birth.From that time my mom has developed a suspiciousness against them. Whenever there is a call for my father she suspects its from his lawyer .That lawyer is a very genuine lady and helped us a lot. My mom knows that she's wrong but she cannot stop. Need help very immediately. I can ask her to come and see you if she needs appointment
- Lakshmi

mam , please say me any relief.... from this
- priya

Hello mam.........pls help me awaiting for ur words
- Rithu

Dear Shri, Do not be pained so much about such a natural habit. Self stimulation and masturbation can be used as an exhaust for unspent sexual energy. Do not club it with guilt feelings. Oldern days people got sexually active once they attained maturity. We are now much civilised and wait for marriage to become sexually active. So masturbation is not advocated as wrong. For temper outbursts try deep breathing and drinking cold water when irritated and write back. As you age the physical itch starts declining and one becomes more calm and steady.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Stanley Ravi Yes, I will do it. I appreciate that you consistently think about the genuine good of others and work for noble causes. You have a beautiful mind.
- Shuba Charles

Hello Mam.....awaiting for ur words.......
- Rithu

Hello Mam…am rithu n am the only daughter for my dad my mother passed away when I was 2 years old. Then because of my relatives completion my dad did 2nd marriage but in that also he was not as well as my second mother was not good to me, at some extent my dad gave divorce to her. After that we all were happy, I finished my post graduation in MBA. Before some days again my relatives started speaking about my dad’s marriage and he too was completely interested in that but I couldn’t able to accept an another women as my mother but for sake of my dad’s happiness I too accepted but suddenly my dad rejected that I didn’t accept that wholeheartedly. Now they are searching a guy for me but I am in love with some other person and he is my school mate for past 8 years we are very good friends from past 4 years we are in love with each other. When my marriage talk started I said my love matter to my dad’s big brother (he is the main person in our family who takes all decisions) as usual he didn’t accept their family gave very bad words & all to me. Am a muslim and he is an hindu what my dad’s big brother family said me was if I marry him then it won’t be named as marriage it’ll be named as prostitution nu.My dad didn’t know abt my love matter till now.I said this all to my lover n said him to go n talk to my dad but what he said he asked me to speak 1st to my bt I couldn’t able to face my dad n say this so I asked him to talk 1st to my dad bt he said I wont talk. Likewise days passed now a thought has come into my mind that to sacrifice my love for sake of my dad happiness coz am his life n he is living for me alone. Now an alliance has come to me n in next week they are coming to see me bt now my lover s telling that he s ready to talk to my dad nu n saying if suppose if I marry sum1 he wont leave me to live happily ama….I don’t know what to do mam please mam I don’t have mom too to share all these things its paining lot……pls mam u have to help me n advice me by being in my mom’s position. If am ur daughter what u’ll ask me to do mam……pls mam help me……waiting for reply from now mam…….
- Rithu

Thank u ma. Now am clear.understood the real love has nothing other than its essence. thank u once again for making me so clear. And ur words changed me as i was before. now when am like that i can feel the difference with him. He respects me more. Now am happy
- Aishwarya

mam hz r u? can u help me. here all r saying tat ur thinking is like tat u r all rite bcox og this im thinking somethings in my mind.cant b happy.i feel as im burden to all and inferior myself i have to overcome this mam..
- priya

Dear Aiswarya, Go through life, being true to your feelings. If you love someone, love him completely, without any negativity like jealousy possessiveness and suspicions. When your love is true and complete that itself will make things clear for you.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil Never compare humans and money. To have lot of people around you, like relatives friends and colleagues is a great asset and an 'insurance' against psychological disturbances.
- Shuba Charles

dear mam,hz r u?im nt fine i need ur help could u assist me.,mam nowadays i cant b happy im crying unknowningly.mam im fear of travelling outside.im age of 22yrs girl i want to go out in search of job but still im in home i couldnt go out bcox of these reasons.i consulted a doctor she gave antidep,inderal,lonezep. please say mam.im not talking freely to anyone even to my parents and even to my lover.can u suggest suggestions
- priya

Hello madam,i hope u r fine.i know abt u through makkal television.urkindly advices are superb in the program. i m 23 yrs old girl..From the past 2 yrs i have negative thoughts in all things..also i have so much of anger with every one unnecessarily.i have a very gd family.i m not yet marry.my parents seeking a suitable one for me.. wat can i do mam? please reply mam..Thank u...
- Ramalakshmi

i am going to complete ba english but now i wany to become physchatrist .plese say me the procedure to join in the college.suggest me a collegepls mam and with this qualification can i study physchatrist
- lakshmi

Hi aunty! My age is 23.Im in love with my friend and ive told abt it to my parents also.my parents accept tat hes d rit person for me but they r refusing to get him married to me becas of caste problem though hes of a higher caste than us.My parents fear abt wat r relatives wil speak..They r very adamnt abt it..I cannot accept to marry someone else..Im confused n worried abt how to convince them..they see various Josiyam n all wer each one say different things..Kindly advise me how to convince them to take their decision for my happiness instead of worryin abt wat others wil speak..
- Rekha

hello mam, Thanks alot fr yr reply reg my son who u said to seem to hv hyper active disorder. I am worried now mam what is it actually?Is it something related with brain disorder.Can it be cured ? Should I go to a pedriatic or any psychiatric.Kindly advise me mam. If i say anyone not to hit him,he is a small child ,nobody will agree they ask me "DO U THINK WHAT HE IS DOING IS CORRECT?""NO CHILD IN OUR HOUSE WAS LIKE HIM .HE IS THE WORST ;HE IS A NUISANCE THEY SAY MAM" I am very much worried about his future mam------ I will be very grateful to u mam if your discussion board gives me an approval to login on my accont nameVATSA {i hv already applied long back which is undeer approval stage] with the abv mail adress.Because I cannot ask many things on the Wall . my sweet rgds and lot of thanks, vatsa
- vatsa

Through a reference i m here doctor, Hope you're in good health & i lay my ray of hope in this communication as i find this as my last resort to rectify. I m just 24 - male , Shri & i quite consistently face a problem of getting turned on & being attracted, seduced frequently which resulting me in excitation of my genital organs. I couldnt control my tempers & now i find this phenomenon is quite consistent & continuing for years. Owing to allay fears i couldnt rectify this in live , As i couldnt concetrate properly on other works owing to this thinking kindly suggest me how to avoid, overcome & look forward as i m deeply pained by my practices. Regards
- Shri

Dear Madam, Thanks a lot for telecasting the phone and cell nos for stopping alchol. Thanx a lot madam. But as your fan i want to suggest one point. Madam you are telling to contact alcoholics anonymous near to your town but pl clarify what is it and what they do in your way of explanation in Tamil so that even the uneducated people also can understand and use such organaisation.......R.Stanley Ravi
- R. Stanley Ravi

And thanks a lot for accepting me as ur girl.. I really feel very happy.. Thank u so much
- Aishwarya

Thank u ma.. U r so correct first i was like that only and he really values that. Now am not behaving like as u said. Ok ma will follow your words.. But that girl don't know that he is in love with me. He is getting afraid to say this to her as she is so sensitive, she may take wrong decisions..
- Aishwarya

This is my take on relatives...we think in india we r famaly oriented and Americans r not...in USA there is insurance for every thing...like health,auto,fire,storm etc...so when something goes wrong they call up insurance and get things fixed...plus since they grow up emotionally independent, the adults are independent...in india ppl r afraid of everything, so they to rely on relatives to borrow money etc and for emotional support...also they need crowd for marriages etc...so we are just using relatives as insurance agencies...in west everyone can afford to be so independent and insurance agencies are so reliable than our Indian relatives that they see relatives as trouble makers only and keep off them...
- son of soil

Dear Mujiba Please contact 044-28362531/32/33 for appointments.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vatsala He may have Hyper Active Disorder. Take him to a psychiatrist. Do not hit the boy. Hyper activity usually settles down by 14or 15 years. Of course it is very difficult to manage a hyper active kid. No am mount of hitting scolding, advising will calm the child. Patience time and the right medicines can do it.
- Shuba Charles

We can not say that they are all acting. Of course it is bakthi paravasam. It is a sort of stimulation of the mind where one feels intense joy happiness and abundment (you stop caring about your surroundings). The mind can be stimulated with many things like drugs, alcohal love sex and so many good things also like selfless service like Mother Teresa. The important point is with whitch we stimulate the mind and how it is useful to others. Otherwise we end up being laughing stock.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Aishwarya Thank you so much, my girl, for your affectionate words. Your fiancé cum friend will need some time and space to sort out his feelings towards you and that girl. You are all quite young. Wait patiently. Do not feel jealous. Try to behave maturely. They have accepted you into their circle. Do not try to grab him away from her. True love has no jealousy. Try to be a better person and everybody will start liking you and respecting you.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Jeevitha Find the reason for his not liking you. In every marriage problems occur now and then. They should be tackled efficiently.
- Shuba Charles

Dear ambi Consult a sexologist. Things will be fine.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil Hmm.... very interesting.
- Shuba Charles

dear Shamima Do not unnecessarily confuse yourself
- Shuba Charles

Hi Madam, Good Morning. I Want to meet you.
- S. Mujiba Begam

dear mam, how are you?? I miss u a lot ,b'cse we don't get MAKKAL tv on our cable nowadays.I had sent a mail reg my son .But did not receive reply mam.but it is not saved or unavailable on the wall .So as u said I am repeating again mam.Kindly tell me a solution. Also I had sent for my account approval mam,I still hv not rcvd .U are the only hope for me mam for all my problems.I need to ask u a lot .Kindly send me an approval to login. I am 33 yrs old.with elder son 8 yrs,and younger 3 yrs son .He's is in preschool now.He is a preterm baby born at 8 months with weight 1.36 kgs.With god's grace he has no major health problems and is fine .But there are few behaviour problems with him. 1.He is very active and intelligent,likes to be perfect always. 2. He is kind of very stubborn.He wants something ,he wants at any cost .He will never come out of his decision.Like he wants his brthr's pencil or book,he will not leave untill we give him. 3.He will start shouting loudly screaming or crying,or hitting his brother ,or anyone who tries to control him. 4.He has got a lot of love for his brthr ,but still suddenly he hits him ,grabs all his things,troubles him a lot ,will not let him study. 5.He easily learns everything anything good or bad from tv or from anyone. 6.He still does'nt speak very fluently,but could speak all the words. 7.He is sometimes very obliging ,sometimes very troublesome.He had given me a lot trouble during baby ,always crying and always on my hips carrying him. 8.He sweats a lot as soon as he goes to sleep even in chill weather and fan is on.Even the blanket and his dress gets wet sometimes. 9.Because of him there is always a shouting between me ,my husband and kids.Because he will disturb everyone and sometimes out of control. 10.We never pampered him above limits during the baby ,instead we are controlling him for his misbehaviours. HE ALSO HAS VERY GOOD BEHAVIOURS ALSO ,AT THE SAME TIME SCREAMING ALWAYS CRYING,ETC HAS DISTURBED THE PEACE AT HOME,AND THERE IS OFTEN A CONFLICT B/W ME AND MY HUSBAND BECAUSE OF HIS BEHAVIOUR. KINDLY MAM,LET ME KNOW HOW TO HANDLE WHAT TO BE DONE.BECAUSE SINCE HE IS A BOY WE ARE WORRIED HOW HE WILL GROW UP AS?--VIOLENT CHILD OR SHORTTEMPERED OR SPOILT CHILD.WHOEVER COMES TO OUR HSE IS DISTURBED BY HIS BEHAVIOUR AND EVERYONE TRIES TO PUNISH HIM. I CANNOT TOLERATE EVERYONE SCOLDING,COMPLAINING ,AND HITTING HIM,SO IF I SUPPORT HIM THEY SAY U ARE DIFFERENTIAITING B/W YR ELDER SON AND SECOND WHICH IS NOT TRUE; HIS FATHER HITS HIM A LOT FOR HIS MISCHEIFS ,AT THE SAME TIME HE ALSO LOVES HIM A LOT; SOMETIMES EVEN I WILL HIT HIM BUT WILL FEEL SAD LATER , BUT STILL HE WILL REMAIN THE SAME,HIS FATH EVEN HITS HIM WITH A BELT. KINDLY TELL ME A SOLUTION MAM; AWAITING YR REPLY MAM;I AM SENDING THIS MAIL FOR THE THIRD TIME MAM!!! HOPE U WILL NOT DISAPPOINT ME!! KINDLY ADVISE US MAM TO BRING HIM UP AS A GOOD HUMAN BEING!!! AWAITNG YR REPLY MAM, sweet regards, vatsa
- Vatsala Mahendran

Dear Dr., the other day i was watching a mass on tv and a priest was giving a sermon in Bible...he talked so fluently as if he has seen the God...he makes it look he is talking from bottom of the heart...he talks so fast as if he is singing a rap song...and walks from one end of stage to the other shouting out of bakthi...and the audiences raise their hand saying Amen...then the priest starts singing and the whole choir sings with jumping up and down...to me it all looks a big thamasha...i wonder how can that priest go on acting like that for life..they must be given the best actors award...he is really mis using people innocence to his avantage...to me priests are the big time atheist in the world...they know for sure that God wouldn't show up any day so that they can do anything using God's name...kudos to those guys who coach these priests so well...atleast i should learn from them how to loose stage fear and be so confident of talking about a thing of which you have no idea...they take a psalm from bible, twist it and turn it so much that even Jesus would be surprised of the meanings that these guys come up with...so sad...all this only goes to show the maturity of people in the society who believes all these...
- Son of Soil

Dear Mom..I'm calling as my mom because i like u very much nd i'll be very much happy when i call u like this. I used to watch ur prog daily nd So many times i wink at u for giving such a wonderful advice. tried to speak with u many times but unfortunately was not able to get the line.. Its really hard to do ur job..how patiently u hear everyone's pain and solving them correctly. Many of the times i used to think that ur sent by God to give hope nd hear everyone's prob.Hats off to ur work.. pls go ahead with this honorable work. I really thank makkal tv for organising such a wonderful prog. And am 22 yrs old working in a central govt job. I didn't affection from my parents properly.. My mom never likes me. I'm in love with a guy for the past 1 year. He is really a wonderful person whom i have never seen in my life. He used to take care of me very well. finished my ug and went into work. He is doing final yr engineering. I don't have any prob with him in my issues..But he has a very close frnd(she) and they were frnds for the past 4 yrs. Before am entering into his life they felt in love with each other. so they expressed it. She is also of my age and working in a private company and her father is so strict. At tat time he don't abt her father but as soon as when he came to know abt this he left her knowing her father won't accept to it. They shared this feeling only for just 1 month. And again started to speak like a frnd asusual. Tat girl too never speak to anyother guy. When we started loving he told me everything and didn't hide anything frm me. He used to share watever they speak. But in the last month i told him tat he hurts me by speaking abt her, and nw he s not sharing abt her with me. I feel hard. he says tat am and tat girl are same for him. he values her so much. Before we started loving itself he told me tat he will take care of her till gets settle(her marriage) i feel really hard when he says tat me and tat girl r equal and pls advice me what should i do now.. and wat shd i do, for he s not sharing with me anything. Pls guide me ma. i love him a lot and thinks he is only for me. is this wrong? and am not saying them too anything.. i too value their frndship but when he says like this i feel like crying and am getting afraid whether i may lose him..
- Aishwarya

my husband is so disturbed with her friends and relations telling that i am not liking my wife after one year of marriage he is telling i am not liking he is not keeping sex with me also pls tell me the solutions for that as soon as poosible
- jeevitha

hello mam, How are u?..Im completely stressed from last month..I got married recently and blessed with wonderful husband i love him so much than anythin and he too but we don't have sex he is telling like feeling shy to do even i try he seems not interested..Before marriage i don't have any love,remonace,etc., I heard lot about it so i want to express with him.. He hold my hand and sleep than nothing between us if i kiss him he kiss me and sleep,its hurting me lot.I want to keep him happy in all the way..How can i change him..I think he is physically fit even he will not involved in family life i want him only.. What i have to do for that??..Most Elders saying if no sex he will move out from me is it true mam??..What i have to do to come out from his shyness and if he has some prob how can i make him to share with me?? He like to sleep more and love to sleep so i left him for his wish..cent per he don't have smoking,drink etc habits and he behave casual with girls very decent ..He was alone in usa from last five years he cooks for him whether i have to change his diet..He respects his parents..They got doubt about us and insisting him to involve but he is not..He is telling like we will involve later I'm okay ,We are in bed for 2 month without anything ,Is male can be like this ??Hope i shared everything now itself i feel better but i want guidance mam..please reply soon for stressed indian girl in usa..
- ambi

speaking of balance and unbalance...i think everything in this world is Ying and Yang...where there is day there is night...peak and valley...peak cannot exist with valleys..good cannot exist without bad..peace cannot be present without war...there was point of time in world when there was peace all over with war...all good people and no bad people...even when Buddha/Kishna/Jesus/Gandhi was alive...when there is a Gandhi there is always Hitler...when there is Rich there is always poor...this whole earth is floating in space due to balance of equal and opposite energy...so thats why maybe everything in world is of balance...there is wont current flow if there is no electron and proton..likewise there wont be life if there were no good and bad...infact good/bad is only from human...what we human call as shit is probably the food for pigs which is good thing from their terms...so we should celebrate bad ppl and not punish them to change them to good...god must have created anger/jealousy/ego etc for a reason...just like a painting where various color exist to create beauty..good/bad emotions should co-exist in our life to create beautiful life and a world..
- Son of Soil

Dear Maam, My age is 50 years and I am sure that they have an illegal contact.Hence I told dis to his elder sister.Maam I have no one in the world except God. He is a person of saddist.But I wonder how he is in affair with this woman.I am living only for my children.Please help me in this issue. Expecting your soothing answer.
- shamima

Thank you very much for the reply .
- shamima

Thank you very much madam
- R.stanley ravi

Dear Mr.Stanley Ravi, I read your God sent letter when I was discouraged and sad. It brought tears to my eyes. You are comparing me to your loving and strict mother. What better recognition do I need? I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will remember the three points you have mentioned and try and execute it.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Madam. Even though i am a male aged 50 yrs, i postpone all my business works and sit in front of Mkkal TV on Mondays and Tuesdays at 3.30 pm. I feel that this programme is not only for Female and mainly for male to love their wifes with total care, affection and to keep on mind that they both are ONE in front of God. I am seeing your programme for the past one year and i feel this is the SUPERB programme in all channels. Madam i do pray God to give His wisdom to you for more counselling words and to give you god health. Madam i hereby suggest some points 1. Please inform the interviewer not to ask the name and from where she calls because this may make caller in to some type of identity.Please try avoid it madam 2 In your two hour programme per week atleast spend two minutes about the side effects of drinking and smoking. Before four months you used to tell about your brother who used to do heavy smoking 3 Madam sorry to say this.....almost in every programme when the programme is going to end......you get cough due to continuous speech...please take panangarkandu with hot water when you travel from your home to studio and it will minimise the throat drought.I used to take it when i was member of the church choir Madam, my parents are from Adayal, Mudalur, Sattankulam Dist and i have lost my loving caring but strict mother before six years and when i heard your voice for the first time in Mkkal TV i just wondered and your voice is very much similar to my late mother. My mother was also just like you madam very softly spoken teacher but very strict [Just like your answer for a thozhi who asked you that very big shot in her area wants her to lie on bed] and your answer for that question was really amazing with your face got anger but made youself cool within seconds and gave the appalusing answer yes madam this type of strict answer to be given for such questions Thank you madam, If any of my words have hurt you please pardon me......but take panankarkandu with hot water before programme...Thank you madam........Stanley Ravi 9840541914
- R. STANLEY RAVI

Dear Suganya All most all MIlaws behave in this pattern. Unconsciously they envy their daughter in law's position and start finding imaginary faults. You are physically away but mentally you always live with her! Take your mind away and do not be obsessed with her. Enjoy your current life where you have freedom. When talking to her talk like you are talking to your aunty and not to an enemy.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Jaishree Lots of good schools with good values will be there in Malasia. You need not live in India alone for the sake of primary education. Start practising in your house itself. Building up a practice will take time and skill and patience. There are lot of Sidda doctors in India, but may be few in your place. Net work with other indigenous medical doctors. Be courageous and confident. Do not break the nice family for the sake of money or education. By staying together you can achieve more.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Yasmine It is amusing to read about your daughter. This stage of negativism every child passes through. The best way to handle temper tantrums is ignoring. Just leave her alone and stay away from her sight though being watchful. Let her understand gradually that all her desires can not be met and bad behaviour will keep her mother away. Once she is emotionally more matured the tantrums will vanish.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil, Your views are interesting but not balanced.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Santhi Gambling and drinking is a risky combination. Never talk to him like a tape recorder that is nagging. Try to understand his irresistible urge for gambling and talk to like his friend. You are out of your debts and bought a house also. So be cheerful.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya I do not remember your question. If you do not find the answer please post it again.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Keerthi Being in love should make you happy joyfull and confident. Not crying with suicidal thoughts. your mother has said that Appa respects all your decisions. But in matters of marriage this may not be so. May be your father does not know about this. Consult a psychiatrist about suicidal thoughts. Take some anti depressants. Tell your father just that you are worried about your marriage. Let Amma tell him, gently. Have an open mind and listen to the advice of your father also. True love should win.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Rita Good.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shamima I have answered your questions
- Shuba Charles

Please contact 044-28362531, 28362532, 28362533 and get appointment for consultation.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shamima You have not mentioned your age. Financially helping another women can be due to many reasons. It needs lots of tact and patience to sort out and understand your husband's real intentions. Talking about it to others and getting angry will not solve the problem.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shalini I do not know any lady psychiatrist as of now. Try and find someone online.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Esther Sometimes after major surgeries small clots get lodged in the brain and may cause such problems. Consult a neurologist.
- Shuba Charles

i m 26 years female.6 months married.arrange marriage.my mother in law starts problems few days before marriage, still it continues. the problem is 'i m little less colour with my husband'.she said 'we like ur daughter, we like to take her' to my family. now it is changed.' you are not beautiful, i canot accept you, i did wrong to my son' she always telling this.and under respect to my parents.my husband really like me.he tell this to her, eventhough she continue torturing to me and my parents.i couldnt accept her words, the words are breaking my mind peace.me and my husband are out of the state now, but when she calls i cant be peace, i treat her very much patients but it is very much painful. how to solve this problem.
- suganya

i m 26 years female.6 months married.arrange marriage.my mother in law starts problems few days before marriage, still it continues. the problem is 'i m little less colour with my husband'.she said 'we like ur daughter, we like to take her' to my family. now it is changed.' you are not beautiful, i canot accept you, i did wrong to my son' she always telling this.and under respect to my parents.my husband really like me.he tell this to her, eventhough she continue torturing to me and my parents.i couldnt accept her words, the words are breaking my mind peace.me and my husband are out of the state now, but when she calls i cant be peace, i treat her very much patients but it is very much painful. how to solve this problem.
- suganya

Dear mam i have posted my problem last week pls send me a solution without fail.awaiting ur reply mam pls.
- jaisree

Dear Reeta Never talk about divorce and suicide to your husband. It will irritate and frustrate. Your husband had been sincere and had behaved with responsibility. Do not blame or suspect. Try understanding him like his true friend would. Be cheerful and happy. Remember the mind can make hell out of heaven and heaven out of hell. I think you are doing the former. Switch over to the latter.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Divya Do not be afraid. May be you both can go to a psychiatrist and have a heart to heart talk. Homosexuality among family members will cause damage.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Niva Do not be discouraged. Start looking at the positive side of your husband and your life. You do not help your husband in running the jewellery business and making money. So do not expect him to help him in house hold work. Some men do not just know. You are not alone. You have a very big family. Change the way you look at things. Life will become very easy and interesting.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya, Excessive fear can be due to serotonin deficiency. Consult a psychiatrist.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Kayathri Happy that you have a baby girl. Tell her stories with lot of action and emotions. Take her to markets and zoos, parks and beaches temples and to wherever you go. Let her watch things. Enrich her mind. Make her body strong. Soon you will watch your girl blooming into a beautiful flower.
- Shuba Charles

Dear maam i dont have wds to say that hw much i love u .but i want to hug u if i c u.i stay in kl .Malaysia.i have completed sidha medicine.my daughter has completed 4 yrs i need to put her in school in chennai.im asking my husband also to come with me .but he doesn t want he says no bcas of lots of commitments like house loans etc.i f i say i can also go to work & help u he says u have lost touch in practice & now that u cant help me it will take sometime for ur practice to catch.he is a diabetic mam that only makes me worry mam.who will take care of him since he is not ok im asking him to come.pls give ur lovable suggestion mam very disturbed.i need to put my child in school this june.also start my practice.sometimes he says lets put the child here itself in school bt im thinking of my practice.bcas if i start now & settle i can support him .pls help me mam am i right or wrong ur valid suggestions pls...........
- jaisree

Dear doc waiting for ur reply.
- jaisree

dear mam I am married n have a beautiful 3 yr old girl.She is very smart ,brilliant and very creative which amaze us most of the times. But nowadays we face a great difficulty in controlling her stubborness.She decides what she wants and never willing to give up,however we give her other options or explain our situations for not fulfilling her desires.Even if she undersatnds the situation she thinks tht she's defeated if she agree with us. Now ths has become a major problem for us when we are in a hurry or in public.I feel bad to punish my kid for this but at times i have no other options than to yell at her or spank her.And i really feel bad about it, please please help me.
- yasmine

Dear Dr, most of the people in the society are going to job that they dont like...they are forced to work because they got to feed their family etc even if they hate what they do..we soon stop knowing what our likes/dislikes are and become totally numb...since every1 is in the same boat we feel happy and dont bother about it..so are we all not prostitutes?....why do we look down upon prostitutes then?.this body is nothing per many religions...in fact, prostitutes keep our society safe...with today screwed up sex ratio, if prostitutes are not there, men craving wont get satisfied...india is screwed up because most indians are prostitutes who sell their dreams/ambition/interest for cheap IT money from abroad and dont do their jobs with passion hence no quality...i'm not in support of prostitutes...i'm against prostitution as a whole...we have double standards in our society and are hypocrites...like poor girls forced into prostitution, our parents/teacher/society pushes us into so called other prostitutions called doctor/engineer/lawyer...
- Son of Soil

Good day to you, madam. Am leaving in KL, Malaysia and 43 years old. Am married and have 1 daughter, 12 years. Currently, having problem with my husband. Have advised him many times but i'm fail. After recovered from our financial problem, he start to go club and spent money like 200, 300 for gambling. Last time he had lot of debts. I managed to solved all the problems and just bought a house. I don't mind he drink (actually i mind also) but i think gambling is a serious problem. Without my knowledge he does that but i found out that from his bank account. Please madam, give me a good answer for me to advice him. Thank you so much.
- Santhi

mam i had posted my problem can give me a advice thank u mam
- priya

Dear aunty, Im 23 yrs old. Ive completed B.E and now Im looking after my fathers busines.In my final yr of colg I fell in love with one of my friends Siva. I told anma abt him and brought him home.Amm has confidence that he is the right choice but she is scared of appa. The reason is he is of a higher caste and love marriage.Amma gives reasons that relatives will speak bad abt my character if they agree for the marriage and intercaste marriage is impossible.I have a feeling that appa wil accept us but amma says she spoke to appa and appa refused to accept.From childhood me n brother are scsred to even stand infront of my appa as appa is very angry most of the time.My brother also knows abt this.I dono wat to do..Amma tells if i speak to appa abt it tis he will send me out of house n all.But amma has told me before that appa trusts my decision . I dono if amma has really told appa abt this to appa but appa is normal at home.Im very scared I worry too much abt this.Siva's parents hav agreed and his parents want to talk to me but I said Il speak after convincing my parents only and they are ready to wait til I convince them. I keep thinkin abt it all the time and i feel depressed.I feel lik cryin without any reason.Even while sleepin I cry unknowingly.Im not interested in anything and I feel like being alone all the time. I want to go away from home and stay alone and have tots of suiciding.I dono how to get over all this.Pls help me...
- Keerthi

Dear mam, thanks for giving ur advice.. now am alright by seeing ur advice in pothigai.. its very useful to us.. keep going :)
- rita tagore

Dear Angel I am happy that your daughter is sharing her thoughts with you. Take her to a psychiatrist and help her out.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sana, Though you have a problem, I am very happy that you have understood it well and taken tablets to correct it. Contact the same psychiatrist and discuss about the side effects and about the anger and suspicions that you have. Every thing will be alright.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Divya Good.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sathis Raman Dead people'spirits coming over and possessing people living in this world- these are false beleifs and there is no scientific evidence. Your wife is suffering from mental disorder. Take her to a psychiatrist and take the prescribed medicines regularly. She will be fine soon.
- Shuba Charles

Face book is a wonderful media to connect and net work if used correctly.
- Shuba Charles

Dear mam, I am waiting for your reply.Please send your e mail Id. Maam please help me.
- shamima

i want to discuss personnaly madam .i need ur no and clinic address
- i need ur clinic address and phone no

i want to discuss personnaly madam .i need ur no and clinic address
- i need ur clinic address and phone no

Dear mam, I am married in 1988. And last year i came to know that he has an affair with a married women whose hubby is in gulf. I came to know that he is helping her financially. I told this issue to his elder sister.So he stopped giving money to us.And also not eating at home.Does he need treatment ?My grown up children are advising me to leave him and go. Help me maam? please
- shamima

hello mam,i am 22 years old i dont know what my problem is mam,i am getting angry often for silly matters and shouting at my friends and family.i feel lijke i need to be alone and i dont like anyone and hurting them without any reasons.can u pls help me mam or else can u suggest me with any lady psychiatrist in trichy.
- shalini

wishes in the name of the lord . my special prayer for your services. i have under gone a surgry last dec 21 2011. [lap choelectomy] now i hav kindly helpe lot of small memory loss some times. and also getting anger for simple resons. is it common. or how should i recover?
- ESTHER

mam, I happened to see your prg in tv.very useful and interesting tips.mam i have a problem.i got married in 1999.my husband looks beautiful whereas i am not so.in his school days he had loved his auntys daughter and their love got broken becoz the girl was married to someone.then after many days he married me.after 7 years of marriage my husband saw the same girl and found that she had no baby and she had adopted a girl child.they spoke over phone and shared messages .my husband told the truth to me but i warned that she is married and it may spoil her life.even after warning it continued and i advised the girl too.but it went waste.one day suddenly the girls husband found the matter and fought with her immediately she called my husband over phone ans strarted to my husbands place.but my husband told the truth to me and i informed her parents to come and pick her up in busstand itself.and every thing went correct.we dontknow what happened then.but heared that the husband had been takenaway the next day itself.so years passed on and once again the girl has given her phone no thru one of her relations to my husband .he didnot speak but she insisted to speak to her and now the phone conversation level is going on.what to do mam. i have 2 children.i even fought with my husband to divorce me.but he says if you want to leave me you can.but i didnot speak anything wrong and behaves smart.i feel like committing suicide.plz help me
- reeta

Hello mam, I have already posted here and got your advice. At my home my MIL is also a regular watcher of your programme. She suspects me that I will have wrong relationships. Sometimes she misuses your TV show just to blame me on this by increasing the TV volume even outsider can hear. But I am not like that and explained her many times. Because of her suspection she is trying to divert me with another problem by saying that I am homosexual and she also acts like that. Just to divert me. When she does like that it hurts me a lot and it is a torture. Sometimes she will pull my Father in law also to blame me on this. I feel like going mad. I have one problem whenever I hear repeatedly about any bad thing I will fear a lot if I will change like that. Already I got one phobia like that and recovered from it now. Please advice me mam how to handle this situation.
- Divya

hi dr, niva here( i have already msgd u in another name), 24 yrs old, married, with a son 1 yr old.dr now a days i feel like it is a curse to be a women. my husband is 30, jewellery business. we r cousins n married 2 yrs back immediately after studies. after pregnancy things really changed. too much of restriction, i feel too much burden after delivery. i am blamed for everything. during pregnancy i had lot of family problems with my in laws. and after delivery after my come back my mother in law left me alone (with a 3 month baby} to be with her other son. so i faught with them a set a family for me , my husband n kid. i had to take care of the entire household even though i had a servant. i never did any work before marriage n had people to work for us. my husband became busy with the business n little help for me. he neither allows anyone to come home as i am alone. he blames that only my parents have to take of me n it is not his business. now i stand helpless n hopeless. why r men like this. i hate my father for this same reason of not respecting a womens feelings n help her. i dint expect that my husband too would be like this. i never try to disappoint him by any means n if he does nt like someone or something i dare not to do it.but he is not bothered of me.why r men leaving us helpless n hopeless? why r we such a cursed gender mam?
- niva

Dear Madam,how are u, am fine.i am 23 yrs girl.Til now i dnt get chance of seeing your programme in makkal tv inthese four months im watching regularly im impressed with ur advices.i have one problem to share with you.I was in chennai around 9 months for my final year project completion during tat time, onee time in bus travel i got gudiness and vomitting suddenly i got down in between but two of my friends around and helped of giving water and then jucies.But these 4 months im in home oly but i have search for job i need to go out of home to chennai.i cant travel anywre from my house.even to relations home because i become nervous and thinking tat something may happen to me...what i can to do tat mam..i need your help i ned to go out ..as i am gifted by good parents they care me most.
- priya

Hello Mam, Am a great fan of U, watching u in makkal TV regularly. I have 1yr and 1 month baby i just want to know how to enhance her intelligency, just like foodies and any sort of activities.
- Kayathri

hi mam we watched ur programme it was really useful for us some nice tips u gave us .Iam in big problem my daughter is suffering from taught disturbance from this jan6th .she gets unwanted taughts like whom ever guy she see she feel that she is doing sexual activity with that guy in her taughts and not able to concentrate in any work she is getting this taught full day .sometime hurting herself ,she tells she doesnt like tol ive pls tell uu a solution mam as soon as possible mam. thank you.
- ANGEL

hi mam..na dubaila 9yrs ah iruken...maraige pani 4 yrs ahudhu..marge panadhulerndhu pbm..enaku ippa 2and hafl yrsla baby irukku..ena husband mela doupt padren..2days hapy ya irukom 3vadhu day sanda vandhududhu..1yrku munadi indiala psychiatrista ponom enaku tblt kuduthanga...thirupi na inga vandhita..andha tblet sapta varakum manasu romba nalla irundhuchu,,,,ana side effect vandhadhala tblt stop panita.6mnth sapta...adhukapuram ippa romba kovam varudhu...romba avara kelvi kettu torture pandra...idhuku enna dha vali doctor..na avara romba virumbura adhumatum enaku theriyum idhulerndhu na yepadi veliya varadhu..pls advice me...
- sana

Thanks for your advice and suggestion mam. I will follow it and hope to come out of it soon.
- Divya

Dear Dr, naan miha periya mana ulaichalil irukiren. enaku thirumanam ahi 2 mathangale iruntha nilaiyil aval mell siru vayathil iranthu pona en periyappavin mahlin aavi puhunthu vitathu ithanal avaludaiya pechukal anaithum mari vittathu. aval eppozhuthum tharkolai ennangal athiharithu varuvathaka solhiraal... aval pesumpothu iranthu pona en thangaiya pesura.. intha pirachinaiku nalla mudiva sollunga .... nandri
- Sathish Raman

Dear Dr, What is the psychology behind facebook mania? my point of view is, its a progress report on your life compared to others...people want to make sure they are in the rat race and check on how far others have come up in life...another self advertisement tool...showing off to others as if their life is all rosy...only when i visit sites like urs i see the societies true colors...there is always a race of how many friends you have, when in reality u don't truly have any...
- Son of Soil

Dear Murugan, Falling in love with a person before marriage is not a big matter at all. But how you put it across to your life partner is all that matters. No use worrying about it. Your wife going to her parents is usual and very temporary. Soon she will come back. Talk to her often and visit her as soon as possible. If you love and need your wife show it and she will come running back to you.
- Shuba Charles

Hi Padmashree, You are most welcome.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Divya, Do not be worried about these passing habits. Consciously train your eyes to stay on the other person's face. you have to unlearn, what have started unconsciously. Be cheerful when talking and look casually away now and then. You will outgrow it soon.
- Shuba Charles

thank you very much mam. thanks lot .neega tv la pesaratha parthu na rumba impress aki irkken. neega yar enne sonnalum husband mala thapu iruthalum wife mala thapu iruthalum ethu thappunu correct a solliduviga.ungaluda reply parthu na rumba free ya irkken madam.na thappu panna mathri rumba afraid a iruthan.mudicha ungalla nerla santhichi neraiya pesanum madam. na god kitta pray pandran mam.thank u very much madam.
- geetha

Dr., thanks for your reply. Now things are better, but am still afraid if such incident ever happen again. He apologised and now goes for inner engineering claases for a week. My in laws heard on this and advised him not to beat me as i just recover post delivery. seems he still feel its right to beat up a wife as does his father. Dr., would you please speak up on channel about this abusive behaviour. Wish the program is telecast sometime at eve when men are home. Late nights are a reason for men to stay off. I wish i do something for women who are tortured this way. I wonder when would our laws gets stricter as with sati system abolishment.
- Noname

Dear Noname, Immediately seek medical help for your husband. He must have mental disorder. Go to your home with the baby and ask your in laws to handle the issue.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Kalyani, This is quite normal. Happens for every one. Soon you will have a baby.
- Shuba Charles

Hyperhydrosis can be due to anxiety nervousness and panic. It can also be due to sudden growth spurt during adolescence and such many reasons. In your case it can be physiological. No need to worry. You have not mentioned your age.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil Sounds like Mood Disorder of a little degree. Many Women are emotional. You can try taking her for counseling.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil, False negative and false positive results are common. She can be given a trial dose of 25 to 50 mcg and watched for the improvement.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil, False negative and false positive results are common. She can be given a trial dose of 25 to 50 mcg and watched for the improvement.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Geetha, The right Medicines will make him work again.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Geetha, No problem with you at all. No fault in asking for a baby. But the disease, Schizophrenia makes him think like that. His not going to the job is also due to that. He should be given the right medicines. You go alone or with his mother to the Psychiatric Doctor and get his instructions.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Malathi You will become a better person than me.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Larance Thank you so much. Wishing you and your family a very Happy New year.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vani You have not mentioned your age. Consult a Urologist if it happens again.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vani Ravi Taking Iron will not solve all the problem. You need to take calorie rich foods like milk and nuts also. Your little son will also be only half full. Give him milk with out adding water. if you use formula powder preparations give in the correct concentration mentioned. Unnecessary dilution will keep the baby hungry and irritable. Any baby will refuse mother milk when it has cold because the nose will be blocked and baby will feel suffocated when it sucks the breast. This is only temporary and baby will start taking mother's milk once nasal block clears.
- Shuba Charles

I am murugan from chennai. I am 27 years old, working as a Engineer in a private company. I recently got married just a month before. I was working in Mumbai before marriage and due to marriage I shifted my job in chennai. I was in love with a girl for 3 years before marriage. Due to some unavoidable circumstances that girl married a different person and I got married after that. After marriage in some circumstance my wife come to know about my love with another girl before marriage and that created a big disaster in my life. Now my wife is not with me, she left to her parents house and her parents also come to know about my previous love. I am under great stress and suffering to the greater extent. I am from a poor family and I am the first graduate in my family. I had suffered in several stages of my life and I believed I had come out of all the problems after marriage but It had become more intense now. Please help me Doctor.
- Murugan

Thank you for your immediate response inspite of your busy schedule doctor thozhi.
- Padmashree

Dear Mam, I have one bad habit which I am not able to change it for an year. My eyes are not under my control. Unconsciously I am seeing personal body parts of others. This irritates others as well as I am suffering a lot after this happening. I tried many times not to do like that. But my eyes are not coming to my control. Is this any disorder. Please advice me mam to come out of this problem. I am not able to share this to anyone also. Please help me mam.
- Divya

Dr., i write thi with great pain. Am married for 1.8 yrs now.. my son is 10 month old. i was working in a software firm. now in maternity leave. my husband was loving and caring all these days, though are occasions of dispute, but a day b4 he took over a petty issue and started hitting me. he spit on my face, strangled me. i wished to run home but am worried of my son who he love lot. he has hurt me b4 but this time it was even worse. i felt ashamed. but the very eve, he apologised and started being the way he was earlier. he s lazy at office n at home. not ambitious, and wants just rest/tv. doesn't interact much with ppl. do suggest a way out, pls? my father went upset and wished i come back home. but i dont want to make a quick decision. i hail from a very decent and cultured family of values. i witness such ill words and acts for the first time in life. am scared. i warned him that nxt time it happen(physical abuse) i would leave him forever. he apologised then. but such warnings were given to him evn b4, but with no use. Do help me out pls..
- Noname

Hello Ma'am, Im so glad to see your advises. I too need your words for my problem. Me and my husband are married for 15 months, we dint want baby for 1 year, now we are planning for kid but we find it weird. the sperm just comes out of my vagina when i wake up in the morning. even inclined position does not help. I'm worried if this could be some big problem and we ll have to get treatments. Please help me.
- Kalyani

Ma'am, I suffer from Hyperhydrosis. Is this related to any psychological problem? Any permanent cure for this? Johncy.
- Johncy

Dear Dr: Also, do girls love to cry periodically?...my wife picks on some silly things and make it so big of an issue until i get pissed off and yell at her...after a long argument back and worth she bursts out crying and becomes totally normal in a minute!!...this is the pattern i see for past 1yr....is this normal?...
- Son of Soil

Dear Dr. My wife always feel tired and never wakes up in the morning until 11AM..she is a housewife...i make my own morning tiffin/tea and go to office...she goes to sleep early too...she sleeps in the after noon as well...intially we thought this could be thyroid issue but after full blood test report her report came out clean and it seems i'm the one who has thyroid issue!!...so it looks like she is just being LAZY...but even if we go outside she becomes tired really quick..are girls in general like this?...how do i make her active without arguing with her regarding this?...
- Son of Soil

mam i am geetha ennuda question ennuda husband 10 years a struggle panni IT field la work pannavaga ennala resign pannittu summa irukken nu solratha ennala thanga mudiyala mam. na enna panna vendum please advice me avar solratha nambaavum mudiyala nambama irukkavum mudiyala.
- geetha

ddear mam ennuda problem yarkittayum solla mudiyala mam my husband oru zhicobheriniya patitent avarkitta eppadi nadathukirathu nu enakku puriyala one week nalla iruppaga one week problem a irukkam softwwre compani la nalla work pannavga last one year a job a resign pannitu summa irkkaga job a resign panathukku nathan reason appadinu ssollaraga.ennakku enna pandrathunu puriyala madam.please madam ennkku reply pannuka. marriage ana puthusula na child venum nu kattann athan problem nu sollraga.counselling polam nalum varamattanu sollaraga.
- geetha

Thanks Doctor for your advise. ur such a kind person...i hope i can be a nice person like u. Thanks again
- Malati

Dear mam, Wishing you very bright happy new year. God bless you and your family abundantly. larance
- Larance

dr, i am vani. i have bed wetted twice this week mam. and i am aware of this only when i wake up. the fan speed is low n all windows r closed. then why doctor.
- vani ravi

true doctor i get angry only when i am hungry n tired. ad most of the times i stay hungry or half filled. but when i took anti anemic tablets from kotakal arya vaithya sala i felt better. i think i better continue that.i have been feeding my son once a day till last week but from last week he had cold n wheezing n now refuses to take milk from me.i wished to feed him as long as i have milk, but uhappy as he refuses to accept my milk.
- vani ravi

Dear Son of Soil That will make your wife 27. No harm postponing for one year. You can avoid active contraception. Usually it may take some time to conceive.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vani Ravi, Take calcium and protein supplements to increase your tolerence. Immediately pay a visit to the psychiatrist with your husband and inform about the sadistic tendencies and suicidal thoughts.
- Shuba Charles

DEAR MALATHI I am happy that your husband was quite understanding. You can pay a visit to the psychiatrist along with your husband for your anxiety and fears. Medicines will take away the unwanted fears.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Daughter Thank you so much. Happy New Year.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Priya, Please write on this wall all your queries. I will answer.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vaathsalya Emotions are infectious. Always be happy in his presence. That is the simplest way.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Noname! Thanks.Psychology is a great subject. I am happy you are going to revive your interest. Happy New Year.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Cv, You have not mentioned whether you have kids or not. Financial independence is very important, that too when you are living abroad. Hiding things unnecessarily from parents have their consequences, eh? First achieve financial independence ie you should have an account of what happens to the money that you give to your husband. Then things will become more clearer.
- Shuba Charles

Puthandu nalvaazhthukkal...I'm 32 yrs old and my wife is 5 yrs younger than me. We want to postpone our 1st child birth by 1yr due to her graduation. Should i wait or is it already too late?...nandri...
- Son of Soil

Dear Padmashree, Ladies who are forced to live alone, like you need much courage and wisdom to face this difficult world. Ignore those two and you come out and carry on with your routine work boldly. No need for increasing your antidepressants. Remember Tagore"s words. "Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high" So hold your head high and walk out without any fear. You should set an example to your young girl who will look up to you for support. All the best.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Gayathri, Very good.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sunil, I thought I answered your question. Please inform your wife, or else convince her through the same Psychiatrist and persuade her to take her medicines.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Parveen, You have succeeded in getting married to the person you loved. Do not worry because you have registered your marriage. Your husband is waiting for the right time to break the news to his parents. So you too wait patiently. After marriage we have to get on with the routine work and the passionate desire of the pre- marriage period will be over and a practical understanding should set in. So do not worry. Try to support your husband in his work and do not reduce your love for him. Get in touch with your family and friends.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr Rajan Nair Thank you so much. Wishing you Peace and Joy throughout the new year.
- Shuba Charles

hi doctor, i am vani from nagerkoil, married at 22 yrs now(24) with a 11 month boy kid. the problem with me is after pregnency and especially after my delivery(cesarian) i get angry, tensed n frustrated very often. from the begining my son never sleeps regularly ,and cries very often. this irritates me to the core. i cant rest or relax for a while too. i came to my in laws home by 30 days on request of my husband n my aunt, fighting my mom. after coming here i was not helped by my aunt or my husband. so my physical n mental health started depleting. by 3 months my aunt left to chennai, to take of her elder son(unmarried/ mbbs mch) who was also depressed. i was helpless n withered.by n by i started to get angry if my son doest nt sleep properly n started to bang my head with my hand. by 6 th month i had a big fight with my aunt n uncle n we splited. after my aunt came back i refused my aunt to see my son. if my husband takes my son i will fight with him, so our relationship damaged. when my son goes to my aunt my heart starts to beat fast n i get fear n anger. i start to shout at anyone. now if my son irritates me i get angry n beat him. now i have become a sadist. most of the times i feel to run away somewhere or commit suicide but i dont have guts cause my son loves me so much. my husband has loads of tension in shop n refuses me to share my feelings. i dont have freindsn noboby to speak consoling words.i have to take care of every household activities. my entire family feels that i am not a fit female n will divorce soon or not a good mom. i wish for a conselling for me n my husband foor a long time mam.pls help me mam.
- vani ravi

Dear Dr.Suba, Im Malati 32years from Malaysia. Im married for 7 years ..for the past 6 years i was suffering with sex phobia, I cant have intercourse with my husband becoz the phobia, but my husband is a germ of person. he is so kind and understanding, he never even scold or blame me becoz of this. he used to motivate me and said that one day i and he able to have sex as others. and now for the past 5 months I able to have sex with him. I so glad and happy becoz my major problem ended. now we focus on getting baby...my problem now is i always feel anxiety, fear, heart beating so fast, and worried without any reason.. what should I do doctor? Im joining yoga recently to reduce my stress. Dr, what should I do to reduce my anxiety, fear and worry? Thanks Dr. I Love U so much ...Malati, malaysia
- Malati

hello mam, wishing u a very happy christmas and a blessed newyear ...may u continue u r gud work in the year ahead with much more joy and potential...thank god for people like u who make the depressed cheer up in their lives...
- daughter

Dear Mam, I am Priya from Malaysia. I think you remember me. I sent an email to your mail ID which is in the prescription but it bounces back to me. Also I sent an email to drshuba@drshubacharles.com. I didn't get any reply mam. Pl mam I want to keep in touch with you. I am waiting for your kind reply. Thank you mam.
- Priya

Wish you happy christmas mam. I need ur suggestion to change my brother from mentally depressed condition. How can i advice him to be happy eventhough from some sadness?
- Vaathsalya

Thanks a lot Dr.,though it were little words from your reply, it was so satisfactory and caring. I just love listening you, conveys more serious concerns in just smiles.. thats amazing to know that u never show up emotions on severity of problems but keep pace with the caller. Really a great work !! Even i wished taking up psychology in education and profession, however financial reasons stopped me and took on IT profession. Now you have kindled that spark again in me !! i wanna know and learn more on this subject !! Thanks... Wishing u a prosperous New year 2012 !!
- No name

Dear Dr, I have been watching your program often. Your solution to everyone's problem is very good. You stick strongly to value system. I admire your approach a lot. I have a problem ... I don't know if its very silly but its ripping me apart. I lost my mother when I was in college. I have a lot of respect for my father because he stood all by himself and took care of me and my siblings. My dad got my sister married.. her husband is extremely good and all of us are very thankful to God. When it was my turn, my father was seeing for matches... a family came home for the same reason. During the visit my now MIL took my email_id saying that she would give it to her daughter so then my SIL could pass on her resume to me and I would consider possible job opportunities in my office. I never received any email from her, but I was very surprised when her son wrote to me first. Though it was a very normal email I wondered why. For courtesy sake I replied to that email... later on it just continued for 2 months and went to the state that 'We have to marry because we have been mailing for so long'. My father was very much against it because of various reasons ... mainly because he said I will never be happy in that house. I never told my father anything about the emails, I was extremely scared. But when my father was seeing for other matches I was warned by him and his family that they could bring all the emails and show it to any other person if I got married to. I was terrified and later with a lot of problem and finally with the acceptance of my father and other members in my family my father got us married. I went to the US after marriage. Its 5 years since i am married. I can count the number of days I was happy. My husband gets extremely angry. He throws and breaks things at home. He's always upset and moody. My in-laws and husband never speak the truth to me. I give him all the money that I earn. When I ask for he says.. no money. I never have said anything ill about my husband to anyone only because I have seen the way my parents lived. They had profound respect for each other. But I see my guard for him is only hurting he. He has physically abused me many times. When I try to approach the problem there is no reception at all at the other end. I find the entire family extremely cunning. It hurts everyday when I realize that I have to live with a person or family for whom I have no respect. They have definitely lost me. I just want to get this off my head. I don't want to share any of this with my family because i am sure my Dad will worry a lot. Please help. Thanks a lot!
- cv

Good evening madam! We can view god only through human being and to rightly say "I had lot of problems in my marital life, but each and every time some how I my getting the appropriate and right person who can solve my mental agony,and I got you now, to be true, just for the past two days I am watching your program and I thought I can share my problem with you to get answer" I am 39 years old, intercaste married at the age of 22. I don't have a permanent career due to various reasons, and also I am a divorcee. Knowing my present situation, my neighbour girl who is younger by 6 years to me, purposely created a trouble that I am sending messages to her husband's mobile and i am calling him and so on. She and her mother uses abusive words and they are shouting from their balcony and as i cannot bear this pain, i went and told her husband in front of her on the street when he is starting for his work? He told that he cannot control her and this is not the first incident and he also told that you better give a police complaint and if necessary, i will also answer them if any clarification is required. Totally I am in a chaotic situation and I am scared to move out of home and there is no other to take care of outdoor work as my mom is 71 years old and my daughter is in her teen age (16). Kindly suggest me whether I should go for any psychiatric treatment to come out of this? We are scared to lodge a police complaint as unnecessary scene will be created and we belong to middle class group residing in an apartment consisting of 12 houses. Already for the past three years I am taking antidepressant after consulting Mr.Anandhan, Mind care clinic, Velachery. Kindly help me to sort out this problem. Thank you thozhi!
- Padmashree

Dear doctor thank you for your cute advice. surely i'l follow ur advice and i'l think positively and carry on my studies. Take care mam
- Gayathri

Dear Doctor, How are you madam.Iam married for the past 14 years,my wife was always in unsteady mind eg. we will be happy for 1 month then 3 months we have fight..reason will be very silly.She lost both her parents at the age of 9 in an accident and had a very troubled childhood & teenage with her relatives.Hence i consulted a psychiatrist Dr.Arun,one year back,he told me she was having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)but she told she wont take any tablets,so,after few days she had knee & joint pain so with the help of my family doct.i gave her the medicine without her knowing it.Really madam she was so quite and look like a very normal human being during that time.Then she stopped taking since her pain has gone i told her that doct. told me that you take medicine for a year so the pain wont reapeat,she disagreed saying english medicines will have side effect if we take for a longer period.Now iam facing the same problems..kids are more effected.I have 3 kids..2 girls and 1 boy, he is the youngest.Please give me an appointment so that i can tell you more clearly in person. Thanks & regards sunil
- sunil

Dear Doctor, hello madam how are you....i like you very much and i inspired on your speech. i am watched your programme in makkal tv it's very useful every one. I am married for past 1 year we are in love and register marriage. my not informed our marriage his parents till date. when i am asked why he is not informed your family? he said my parents health condition is bad so i am not informed. before marriage he love so much me but after he is totally changed not same love to me. what can i do for he is love for me and responce my opinion. what i am do our marriage informed he's family. no contact for my family and my husband family. i am lonly feel. plz share any idea madam..........thank you.......
- parveen

Dear Dr, i am Rajan Nair from Chennai. I am a regular viewer of your programe. programe is good. You are giving good advice to the viewers. Wish you a happy X"mas & happy new year thanks & god bless you
- RAJAN NAIR

Dear Daughter You are worrying for nothing. You should leave your parents mentally and physically and cleave/cling to your husband and kids. This is the Biblical concept for any family.
- Shuba Charles

Dear... You are so much worried. Your little son will be alright with the attention he is getting. Do not feel guilty. Feel free to take leave and stay with him when ever there is need. Quality of time spent with kids is more important than quantity of time.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Saraswathi You are welcome to get an appointment and meet me.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sunil You can get my appointment at 044-28362531. You can consult the same Doctor ask him to explain things to your wife and suggest her the medicines because they will enhance her well being. Always try to give medicines with her knowledge.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil Too much of watching emotionally terrifying or upsetting movies will upset the neurochemical balance in the brain. Traumatic real life incidences will cause Post traumatic stress Disorder. Psychedelic music, lights, patterns and videos are best avoided.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Gayathri When you enjoy what you are doing the stress becomes eustress ie good stress. So start enjoying your B ED course. Think happily about the days you will be actually teaching and how impressed and grateful the students will be to have an understanding teacher. The power of +ve thoughts is so big that any amount of stress can be converted to eustress.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vaathsalya If you know his family well then you can just mention. Not otherwise.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vijendren' Emotions get reflected like from a mirror. Do unto her as you would like her to do to you. These are Bible quotes. Any way you can contact me at 044-28362531,32,33.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil I enjoyed your interesting view points and opinions. The trigonometric sine function !! Moods usually swing for everyone, more exaggerated for women, during childbirth menopause and menstrual periods - even more. That is women are emotional. The world is made a wonderful place with these emotional beings. Mn's life get prolonged once they get married. So no harm. Do not be alarmed, just try to enjoy the roller coaster ride now and then.
- Shuba Charles

hai mam how are you.... Thank you for your reply about my brother. Becoz of being in hostel he is very depressed. he don't like to be in hostel and his college also not comfortable for him. you replied to take him to psychiatrist but he won't come. I'm not his own sister also. just friend but i know his family. shall i talk about him to his father for further step???? is it good idea??? he is not eating regularly in hostel. not at all talking freely. plz reply me mam..you only said that in this 17 age a boy or girl should not be like that so only i m afraid....
- vaathsalya

hello madam how are you....i like you very much and i inspired on your speech. now i'm doing b.ed mam. Becoz of more works i'm getting more stress. Plz suggest me to how to get relax.
- gaythri

Dear Dr: My wife's mood is like trigonometric Sine function...as soon as it hits +ve peak it heads towards -ve peak...so i get scared whenever she is very nice to me...i know that all women like waves...but sometimes she does extreme things like threatens me that she will cut herself with knife if what she desires doesn't happen...or walks out of house for hrs...she is one stubborn wife...how am i to deal with it?...i try to do the same things to show her how i feel...her excuse is she is like that since childhood and everybody has put up with her...expects me to put up with her too...this is so unfair...
- Son of Soil

Dear Doctor, How are you madam.Iam married for the past 14 years,my wife was always in unsteady mind eg. we will be happy for 1 month then 3 months we have fight..reason will be very silly.She lost both her parents at the age of 9 in an accident and had a very troubled childhood & teenage with her relatives.Hence i consulted a psychiatrist Dr.Arun,one year back,he told me she was having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)but she told she wont take any tablets,so,after few days she had knee & joint pain so with the help of my family doct.i gave her the medicine without her knowing it.Really madam she was so quite and look like a very normal human being during that time.Then she stopped taking since her pain has gone i told her that doct. told me that you take medicine for a year so the pain wont reapeat,she disagreed saying english medicines will have side effect if we take for a longer period.Now iam facing the same problems..kids are more effected.I have 3 kids..2 girls and 1 boy, he is the youngest.Please give me an appointment so that i can tell you more clearly in person. Thanks & regards sunil
- sunil kumar

i want to contact you because some personal reason
- saraswathi

Dear Madam, Due to unavoidable circumstances, i should get back to work (IT profession) leaving my 1yr old son in a day care near my office(250m from office). We are planning to shift our house nearby this day care so we reduce travel time and are available to our son anytime. My husband and i work for the same company. Am pretty worried about my son, he is now 9 months old and have started expressing his need for my attention. Am in a bad situation so i should get back to work, else i wud hav a tough life ahead. Ma'am, do u think i did all necessary things to make him feel at home? proximity to office, evenings with him( after 6.15pm..), frequent visits to day care by his dad n myself whenevr free.. do u think it will still haunt him? i can leave him at 9.30am and pick him back at 6.15pm.. is that a cruelty to my son? do i hurt him? pls help me with your advice.. ways to deal with seperation.. I lost my mom when i was 3yrs old, and was taken are by a neighbour aunt who even cared for me when mom was out for work.. but such seperation did make me arrogant or inhumane.. so wont my son too get along as i did? i dont understand if am mentaly prepared to leave him at day care nor quit and stay at home. Both are equally weighed. My career is important as am ill spoken by in laws and on quitting it will worse my situation. Pls help..
- No name

mam im not a fanatic at all...im willing to not let my hus do things he doesnt want to...but my parents dont understand this...i know that if i support my hus theyll stop talkin to me thinkin im leanin towards his religion...watever i say theyll evntually cum to the "religion "topic...for me my happines wit my hus is important...i belev dat god showers his love on me thro my hus...how am i suppossed to take things if my parents react so.... ill be realy hurt
- daughter

Dear Doctor, I having problem with my wife. I need some advice from you, she is not respecting me and dont ever want to listen to my words. I need to talk with you and get some advice from you
- Vijendran

Dear Dr., i now see the dark side of ur profession ..i.e., watching pshycho movies;-)...pls check out Texas Chainsaw massacre(true story), Hill side strangler(true story), the ring, paranormal activity 1, last exorcism...Hill side strangler is very very disturbing...that is the only movie i have stopped it while watching and havent finished till date...after watching horror movies, i have noticed that my senses are over sensitive...that i hear noises when normally i dont...i see things i normally dont...all these seems to be funny during daylight but when darkness comes, its scary...i didnt sleep for 7days after seeing "4th kind"...i'm back to normal though...i had to watch a lot of Charlie chaplin movies to wipe my hard drive clean;-)...i feel americans love such movies becuase they have this animal instinct...or no asthetic sense...they are always crude in showing everything...like kissing, nude scenes, blowing up things with a bomb, swearing F words...when they see a beautiful place/bldg, they immediately think of blowing it up...our indians in same situation think of shooting a song on top of that bldg/place...we are better off that way...i personally feel all these pop stars like lady gaga/Eminem/snoop dogg etc are psychos..look at what they sing and behave...its all about repressed sex, feelings, emotions etc...its sad indians r apeing them...i appreciate ilayaraja and ARR's music more than ever before...how chweet is to listen to SPB/Chitra/KJY/S Janaki...i feel indians are ahead in the evolution process...in terms of asthetic sense, bonding etc..unfortunately we dont recognize it...in west, people mate like any other birds or animals, males leaves after mating, females rise youngones until 18, the young ones leave mom once independent and mom least bothered goes with her life and mates with another male and continues life...and they so polished in their manners and dressing that outsider think they are more civilized than any other...how insane is this!...i'm sorry, if i was crude in explaing this like the west..
- Son of Soil

Dear Daughter, Making others all the time happy is impossible. You are responsible for the happiness of you, your husband and your children first. Do not be a religious fanatic.
- Shuba Charles

Dear MID OCD problems can not be handled online. This is a casual chat forum not a medical treatment forum.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son Of Soil Ha ha, your are a perfect son of the soil, alright! I am happy that you do not have OCD now. May be depression is there and SSRIs can help. You do not have any thing else. Regarding the movie that you have mentioned, I am yet to see it. Psychedelic movies,music and writings... it is best to avoid them. They rattle the mind and upset the mood. Avoid them. Any way I want to watch it because it is my profession. Regarding marriage some times it happens like this to many a person and though it is highly embarrassing we should try to overcome such uneasiness. Dowry is a social evil and it is sad that some people are so greedy. Love for money is the root of all troubles and such people lose in the end. They end up having lots of money but no real love. Why don"t you stand up for what you think is right?
- Shuba Charles

Dear Dr. This happened 2 yrs back...my parents were looking for bride and i really liked this girl...she said yes initially and months later my parents said it didnt work out...the girl later went on to marry my cousin (peripa payan)...today i came to know the girl said no because of my parents...whenever i meet the girl in functions, my mind goes "she is my girl, now with somebody else because of my parents"...i cant look her eyes and talk...this adds fuel my to hatred for my parents...my father is a dummy piece..uxorious, i mean...should i stop going to functions where the girl attends?...my parents always blamed me for making them difficult to look for a bride...it took 4yrs...i know it is because of their attitude that every1 said no...now my mom goes and motivates my periamma to ask for more dowry from the girl's parents and perimma is putting pressure on (my) girl's parents for dowry...the girl parents are obviously worried...what can i do help this situation?...thanks...
- Son of Soil

Dear dr,Thanks for replying.I thought u will sugest medicines online.its ok dr.But I expected you will give me some advice or various measures to get rid from this OCd problem and for not able to manage household duties.Plsr give advice dr. I had gone to psychiatric doctors but they r not explaining like you and my problem also has not been solved.dr,i am in Trichy.If u can refer pls tell any dr whom you know in trichy.i will consult to that doctor.hope u will do reply.thanking you.
- M.I.D

i watched the movie called "the 4th kind"...a psychological thriller about psychologist Dr. Abigail Emily...it is based on actual events about alein abduction...i think its just some psychrist gone crazy...but the Dr. sounds very convincing to me...and videos of patients screaming and flying are very real!!...do u think something like this is possible?..whatever i'm going to loose my sleep on this for a while.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7wlgwLFf7Y&feature=related
- Son of Soil

im very sorry for the long message mam,pardon me mam plzzzz...im in total stress...i cudn tell this to my husband...i cudn be happy with him coz i fear i may lose him aswell as my parents...i once told my hus...if prob cums coz of religion after v hav a child...ill jus go somewhere or die...so dat i dont hav to lose them and u...he says evrythin will be 5n...his parents think dat he did dat for marriage sake so kids will be hindus...my parents will leave me if dat happens...coz to them religion cums first ...i dont wana c my life end up as most inter religion marriages...i wana show the people who ridiculed me dat im very hapy wit the person i love irrespectiv of religion...both parents blessed us on our wedding havin theis own expectations...we were hapy as they accepted..bt now after marrige...im strugging to kp both parents hapy at the same time...withou hurting my huby...i cudin sleep sometimes mam...dats y i call u as my mom...hope u can kno y...thank u amma..will get an appointment and mt u wen i cum to chenai mam.
- Daughter

actually i shud hav said dis first...my mum is working and wen i needed her d most(durin my teenage)she wasnt ter for me...she thinks dat providing education and basic needs is wat moms do...bt all i needed was her to listen to me,be a friend,understand wat i realy wanted emotionally...durin my 10th and 12th all she wanted was me to score marks,she nevr bothered abt my stress at skol.i felt dat only if i study well ill be her daughter...all i wanted was her to tel me"im here for u, i love u no mater how u study"...she never encouraged me, she used to scold me infront of my frends,i lost my self respect...bt i still love her...one day i jus exploded wit tears and said i dont want ur money i jus want ur love...i was cryin aloud and all she said was i never missed to buy u gud clothes i gav al u wanted and ur blamin me ur talkin mad...from then on my only hapines was god....i started askin him to giv me 1 gud friend ...dat year(colleg 2nd year)i came to kno of my husband...v used to text alot...he jus "LISTENED TO ME AND ENCOURAGED" -which i was longing for...finaly we fell in love...religion caste was our prob...i somehow succeded in getin my parents conscent bt wit 1 condition dat he shud becum a christian...my hus did dat for me and marid me...he is "MY LORD'S GIFT"..."he is my nswer to my prayers"...he jus loves me to the core...i feel god's pure love only thro' him...and now im in a situation of compelin him to get confirmed...and i dont want him to do dat...wen he realy belevs in christ dat is the day he becums a TRUE CHRISTIAN...if i say this to mom she will stop talkin to me...
- daughter

Thanks a lot mam...i told u previously dat my hus got converted(baptized)to marry me...im a strong believer of christ..im a protestent...before marriage i told my hus dat i realy to bring up our kids as beleivers of christ and dat i cant let them do idol worship...he understood my feelings and said ok ...now dat we are married my parents want him to take confirmation...inorder to be a complete christian...coz they dont want probs after v hav kids...bt my hus is unwilling...he says i accept to bring up kids as christians bt im nt interested in taking confirmation...he cums wit me to church and he isnt dat spiritual...(i mean even as a hindu)...i love him so much...he convinced his parents for a christian marriage for my sake...i pray dat 1 day he'll lean towards christ...but till now i never force him...i belev god will do dat within him 1 day... my parents are stubborn...if i say he isnt willing theyl surely think im slowly becumin a hindu...i kno how theyll react...but my love for him makes me not to compel him...he has to accept god from his heart dat is wat i expect...but my parents are tellin he shud take its a must even if he isnt interested...how can i do dat to d person i lov ?also i kno the real meanin of" confirmtion" i dont want to misuse it...i also hav a fear dat he mite say no to bring up our kids as christians after v hav them...im confused...i cant lose him and my parents...please reply me mam...
- Daughter

Dear Dr....ok per ur request i will change my name to "Un-Son of Soil";-)...yes, india is perfectly alright except for parents like mine...over population...and chaltha hai attitude...india is filthy outside and rest of the world is filthy inside...i suppose outside filth is better..i did some search on "Attachment disorder" "Autism" etc...is it possible that i have "attachment disorder" only agianst my parents?...in regards to OCD, i dont practise any of those rituals anymore, but deep inside i fear if i'm too happy something wrong is gonna happen soon...is this part of OCD?...i appreciate u taking time and helping everyone of us out here...good day..
- Un-son of Soil

Sure a lot of times. It is something like OCD. Obsessions and Compulsions. Neuro chemical imbalance. Gets corrected with the right medication. Refer. May be that deficiency shows up like irritation and depression. When in stress consult a psychiatrist.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil, What a contrast between the name you have given yourself and your thoughts. India is perfectly alright and even Obama envy India. With all its diversities India is slowly and steadily going ahead. Of course, some parents are guiding their children wrongly and try to run their children's life as if they completely belong to them. But most parents act in this way sincerely believing that they are doing the best for their children, and not out of jealousy, but out of over possessiveness. Any way your dislike for your own Soil and Roots are unwanted. Cheer up!
- Shuba Charles

Dear Daughter, Since you are only 22, you can postpone pregnancy for 2 more years.
- Shuba Charles

Dear MID, Nobody prescribes medicines online. Consult the same or another psychiatrist and do accordingly.
- Shuba Charles

Mam, plzzz do reply me ...awaitin ur response...thank u..
- Daughter

this is not a continuation of my previous post...it was a problem of the past that i'm trying to understand...i was in 7th std and had to move to Trivandrum temporarily for 2 yrs...i had to join govt school since i can skip malayalam subject and choose tamil instead...i couldnt cope up there since there were no teachers at school and somtimes no books available...naturally, i flunked in school and i used to get beaten by teachers for that...i then started to copying in exams to pass...slowly when all this was going on, i started getting into this habit of not stepping on cracks/lines etc while walking...for e.g., if i'm walking on platforms i would never step on the cracks...if i did i would immediately pray to god..my house had mosaic floor and i always avoided the lines!!...then i started touching everything only with right hand and leg...i will start climbing stairs with my right leg and finish climbing with right leg only..i used to have the number of steps in my school,house,shops by-heart!!!...then i would to not see cinema posters on the streets...if i did i would immediately spit!!....also, if i see a red color immediatley breathe out...and if i see a blue color i would swallow in!!!...i never discussed this with anyone as they would think i'm wierdo...i struggled with myself to get rid of these superstitions until we moved out of Trivandrum and later when i came across OSHO books, that tremendously helped me to get rid of these habits totally...i dont do these things now but cant forget how i struggled with it...i never understood why/how i thought of these things as nobody taught me to do.. nor seen anybody doing it...why did i do these things?....have u come across such things in ur career?...
- Son of Soil

I'm 30 yrs old and am in a decent position now..."Animals care for their young ones and not for their parents. But they never complain about their parents."...u mean to say i'm worse than an animal:-)?..."It is up to you to condemn or feel grateful"...yes, i'm trying to find a reason to be grateful...my body language is absolutely fine when i'm AWAY from parents and but changes a lot when i'm with them...they have all these stupid expectations and why should i respect it when they dont respect my individuality?...one e.g., might be...i'm not in IT field but before marriage they said it was hard for them to look for a bride since i'm not in IT field...so they want me to change my field!...reason being high salaries only in IT field...if usa gives more $$ to clean toilets, do i have to switch fields too?!...now they dont like me being close to my wife...they are totally jealous and give me unwanted advise to keep her put...they tell my wife that her mom didnt raise her well!!...as if they raised me well!!..my dad is jealous that i have more qualification than him now!!!...my complant is by just paying school fees and college fees you dont make connection with ur kid...and it is unfair expect me to make connection with them now...i know anything parents do in india is right and kids are always wrong...it is becuase of this attitude of the previous generation that india is in such a bad shape now...until 1947 the generation was good...the 1950s generation is the root cause for all evils today...they want power/status/money/prestige etc etc...their lifestyle is to get married...get lots of dowry..have babies until you have a son...nook or crook make him engineer..push him to IT...send him to usa...push him for arranged marriage and repeat their lifestyle...well good luck to them...
- Son of Soil

Dear Vatsa Sorry. Please repeat your queries.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Son of Soil Very Interesting name. You have not mentioned your age and your current position in life. Animals care for their young ones and not for their parents. But they never complain about their parents. They behave with basic curtesy. See we grow by ourself. Even children have a mind of their own and every one choose their own ways of feeling , behaving and thinking. It is up to you to condemn or feel grateful. You can spend your adult life with a song in your heart and a spring in your steps and feel happy for every thing even though some events would have hurt you. That way people- all, will be attracted towards you. If you nurse some negative feelings deep inside you, people around will unconsciously pick up the body language signals and keep away. Forget the past and behave towards your parents as any respectful adult and not as a difficult child.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Malathi Thanks
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya Doctors prescribe for the main effects the medicines have that is curing the problems. So take the medicines. Do not unnecessarily worry about the side effects.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sangeetha Same page, consultation details are given.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Rita If you feel too guilty consult a psychiatrist in person and take anti depressants.
- Shuba Charles

dear mam, im newly maried...ours was a luv cum arranged..my hus is a hindu and got converted to christianity to marry me...iv completed B.E... I really wana work atleast a year or so before i get conceived ...so v are plannin to delay preganancy for 2 years...but all are sayin dat if i delay i may hav probs later....also my inlaws are very conservative....bt my dates are regular till nw...v dont take any meds...so v both are confident of our decision...wat is ur opinion mam...plz do reply...i watch ur tv show regularly...i see u as my mother...im 22 my hus is 29...
- daughter

Dear Dr,i hv more to say.Iam alvvays unhappy.i laugh very rarely.I alvvays vvorry.At present i am vvoried about my son bcos he didnt get married to vvhom he liked.I already had asked u about my sons problem for that u replied that mariage needssocial approval.my son and that girl also had chat online but after ayear that girl didnt accept my son.I dont knovv the reason dr y she did not accept.I too couldnt ask bcos our both family stopped talking.In 25yrs of my married life i hv not fought vvith my inlavvs and others but still they hv rejected my son.This vvorries me.About my OCD I feel allergy to enter the toilet even in my house.Due to this allergy i avoid going out for functions or to visit places.Allah has given me everything but due to this vvashing habit I am very much vexed in life.I prefer more cleanliness and that has resulted in a torture to my life.Novvadays servants also demand too much but their vvork is not proper.I am also not able to do vvork.In this situation I dont hovv i am going to lead rest of my life.hereafter only i hv lots of responsibility to take care my daughter in lavv etc in life.I dont knovv hovv i am going to manage dr vvithout anyones help.i am alvvays dependent of others.i expect others to help me and I also vill help them.i am putting effort to do kitchen vvork but I cannot suceed.I knvv to cook but I dislike taking full responsibilty in kitchen the vvhole day.Pls dr tell me a solution.thanking you
- M.I.D

Dear dr,I am suffering a lot that i cant do my house ork my age is 47.i vvas in a joint family.There vvere servants to do the cooking.I vvas happy just cutting vegetables and doing small help like serving the food in table etc.I vvill do all the help but I vvil not prepare gravies.novv I am in a seperate house since 10years but still I am the same.I still didnt get confidence to cook.my sister in lavv alvvays used to degrade me.I am not a brave girl from small.I feel very inferior bcos my age relatives manage their house bythemselves.I m also slovv.So I am not able to complete the vvork.It drags full day.In addition to this I am having OCD problem.For brushing I take 15min,for bath I take 30 min. 3 times I go toilet in a day regularly.Each time I vvill spend 30 min Pls dr.I vvant to follov ur medicines.Pls doctor can u prescribe for me medicines?i am novv taking FLUvOXIN-100mg and CLOZED daily.After vvatching ur programe I am very eager to take ur medicines bcos my problem is still proceeding since 7yrs.I took depression tablets also but stopped vvhen i as alright.But at present I am alvvays in tension and I feel restleess and i hv palpitation that is pathattam the full day.In total I am sufferig very much dr in my daily life.pls help me dr.I hope u vvil prescribe me medicines dr.pls make me a active vvoman so that i can look after my husband and children vvell.I am going thinner and vveak.My physical also looks i am an old lady.If u vvant to knovv more details u ask me doctor.eagerly avvaiting ur reply M.I.D
- M.I.D

mam,I had sent u mail regarding my preterm son and his problems.I am awaiting reply.I do not know where to look in for the reply .I had posted the enquiry on the wall.
- vatsa

Dear Dr., I thank you for your program Kottitheerithuvidu thozhi.. Sorry for this long email... My issue is that i cannot get along with my parents...i feel like they are strangers...they accept the fact that they were very busy with their worklife during my childhood days and never had much time to get along with me...my mom is a housewife but our frequency stopped matching when i got to college...now they are repenting that i'm not taking care of them or especially not speaking to them in caring manner...i understand all that and i dont mind speaking to them. BUT every time i speak to them it ends up in a fight...so i try to avoid conversations and answer their questions only in mono syllables to play safe...my problem with my parents is that they are so typical of previous generation...always worried about prestige, status, money, showing off like always speaking in English, pretending to relatives, talking wrong of a person behind their backs...the signature style of my parents is taking things way out of context and make it a big issue...and that makes me very angry...also they never respect my individuality...as if i'm a tool to make their dreams come true...they respect me only if i'm successful...if i fail in anything i'm not their son anymore because its affecting their status symbol in the society... their complaint is they have done everything possible more than any parents could, but i'm a typical 21st century kid who doenst take care of his parents...my argument is why should i ACT caringly to them if it doesnt come from bottom of my heart?...where were they during my childhood days?...they did the damage and they have to face the consequences...& when are they going to stop living by society standards?... I'm convinced they are too old to change now but what can i do to resolve this?
- Son of Soil

Thanks for your usefull information mam.
- Malathi.G

Thank u for ur precious and valuable advice mam..i went to consult a psychiatrist for my problem,for which im worrying a lot and got addict to tat.(due to my love break up).doctor prescribed some tablets.if i follow can i get rid soon?wil it cause any health affects like skin allergy,more hair fall like tat mam?because my parents didnt about this matter mam...can u pls give some advice and suggestions regarding this mam?
- Lavanya J

Dear doctor, my warm wishes for your great service. You are a perfect role model for everyone. I am from chennai and need an appointment where i need consultation and counseling for my impulse control disorder and anxiety disorder . Kindly revert back your valuable response madam. thank u. Sangeetha
- Sangeetha

Thank you for your suggestion mam.. but my first love got broken by last year itself.. it almost went more than a year. yet i feel so guilty and don't know how to come out from this.. not able to forget that love and i feel guilty for his frnd.
- rita tagore

Dear Christy, Ability and experience is more important than any degrees. Giving care to two young kids can be very taxing and many people do not understand this. Emotional flatness or unresponsiveness should be consulted with the psychiatrist. Some thought disorders start with this kind of behavior. DO not be alarmed and consult just to on the safe side. In your anguish you have said something and called out for help. There is no harm in that. Remember, God looks into the heart, and not words like men do. Do not be afraid. Eat well and take health supplements especially calcium and magnesium, vitaminD, and iron.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Malathi, you have just listed beautifully how alcohol addiction can wreck a family. Your father need not come. You go with your mother and consult a De-addiction center.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Rita Tagore, Now that you have recently broke your love with your first boy friend do not start it again with his friend so soon. It will lead only to guilt and confusion and loss of respect. Be calm without getting involved with any person at least for one year.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Banu, We can not manipulate others. We can only suggest good things to others. Taking or ignoring the advice is in their hands. One can not save the world or protect an adult person from bad people. Take him to a counsellor or a psychiatrist.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Dilshath, You have already written on the wall so I will answer on the wall. I do not answer privately on mail. Medically marriage between cousins are not encouraged be it aunt's or paternal uncle's daughter. Culturally marrying paternal uncle's daughter is a taboo because she is regarded as a sister. Just because your son got a fancy for her it was not right on your part to approach the the girl. Any way things are over and people will be angry with you for sometime for ignoring customs. Be quiet and tell your son, social approval is important for marriage and long term happiness.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sheeba, Do not be so upset. Keep your emotional investment in such small matters low. After 40 years men's need for women becomes more of a friendly nature, and you should never be alarmed. Calm yourself and talk to your husband like his best friend would, not fight like a wife. Be understanding and find out how it started and why he didn't tell you about it. If your are calm and wise and not at all emotional about this your gem of a person-your husband, will keep away from this activity. Try polishing and set the gem like a precious necklace and you can wear it proudly. Do not allow your husband to lose his face with the children. Assure them that nothing is wrong and that daddy needs just more love and care.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Anitha, I am happy that you are concerned that your son should not undergo the same hardship that you underwent.Wait till your son is at least one and a half years old and find a lady as your in laws suggest. Do not work for long hours. Try to work from home even if the pay is low. Even if you do not work keep in touch with your colleagues and keep updating your knowledge. Try to enjoy this precious time with your son. Take him out like museum, zoo, markets, parks and play as much as possible. Tell him stories, sing him songs,and watch cartoons with him. Talk to him and listen to him even if he babbles. Do not be confused. Feel happy for being a mother - the most wonderful gift anyone can have and enjoy every bit of it.
- Shuba Charles

DearLavanya, Your guy doesn't seem to be firm minded. He should either convince his parents by waiting for the right time to get married or keep away. I remember you are in your teens. Don't be in a hurry to get married. Do not be impulsive and emotional. Wait patiently without annoying your parents.
- Shuba Charles

hi Dr. Good Day. doc, i used to watched your program in makkal tv. i am from malaysia. actually i have few problems where i need peace of mind. i would like to sort it as following: 1. my main problem now is i am MBA (major HRM) holder from University of wales, uk. but i have done it with local institution. problem is i have done without a degree. i did NCC Diploma in Computer Studies in year 1997 and after that i worked with various industries. after that only i furthered to MBA. problem now is its difficult to get a job with this qualification. i always feel unhappy with my mistake. pls advice. 2. i was married in year 2001 and get divorced (NULL and VOID). after 7 years, i met with a guy who seems to be very caring. he knew about my past and he proposed to me. we got married in yr 2008 with the blessings from both family. i am very proud to say that i have very good mother in law, i called her 'amma' instead of 'attai'. obviously, my husband is very quiet type. but he gets more quiet nowadays. we have 2 kids now, 1st 2.5yrs, 2nd 11mths. i suffered alot for both babies even during delivered times. my elder child is a girl. i had bleedings after a week of delivery that caused vaginal tears. thats was a phobia to me. and for my 2nd child, boy, delivery was very difficult. and after 14th day of delivery, he had fits and admitted to hosp. i also stayed with him in the hosp ward for 2.5 mths. during my stays in the hosp, i went thru emotional threats. my husband used to visit us at the hosp, but hardly speak a word to me. whenever i express my pain to him, he will just stand like a lamp post without single expression in his face. i was terribly missed my daugther. i used to cry alot. according to the doctors, my son had meningitis. everyday i died seeing my son being pocked with needles. but with gods grace and mercy, he recovered slowly. doctors said, his development now is good. after discharged from hosp in FEB2011, i resigned from my job to look after my kids. now, i am a housewife. taking care of 2 kids is really a tough job. i also breastfeeding my son. i always get irritated easily and some times, i tend to slap my daughter whom i love dearly. but with gods help, i managed to control my emotions. problem now is, my husband, he dont talk to me, he only talk what is important to him. but i seriously need to talk to someone apart from my parents, inlaws etc. i need his hugs and warm touching that can heal me. i used to tell him that i need his hug and even i went and hug him everytime he go/comeback from work. but sometimes, he is like pushing me away, whch makes me feel very bad. but he is very helpful person. over the weekend he helps me with house crores and kids. but, he seems not to understand what i really wants. i am too exhausted with all the bitter experience in the hospital. pls advice. 3. i am a catholic christian, and my husband is hindu. our wedding was held in a hindu way. in our altar, we have both gods pictures and we used to worship in our own way. but after having kids, i started to think what should i do. and there was an incident happened when i was at hosp with my son, that, everyone was very much deeply sad with the news of my son's illness. everyone prayed to god for help and his blessings, so do i. and there happened one day, that my brain and heart was forced to say something which i dont want to say, i told loudly that i will follow my husband's way if my son is cured. now thats bothering me. pls advice. thank you doctor. my laptop battery going to flat.
- christy

Hellow mam, this is malathi from bangalore. My dad is 50years old. He is doing an own business from 12years. He is an alcoholic addict. He drinks from past 20years but only at nights. He had an heart attack before 4years. He underwent a open heart surgery 4years ago and had stopped drinking. But from past 1year he has started to drink again. He is an anxious person. Becomes tension even for small things, he scolds us unnecessarily for everything. But to the outside world he is a very good person and adjusts with everyone. He is unable to solve any of his problems he just tries to avoid those problems. Nowadays he has been to the maximum extent of drinking and every night he fights with us for some or the other reason and doubts all of our character. Now he has started to speak like either he'l kill himself or he'l kill us, he says it with full of anger, it makes us afraid. He wont come for the treatment also, as he doesn't believe in the treatments. Please advice as soon as possilble. If possible can we contact you through phone personally? if yes please give your phone no and the prescribed time.
- Malathi

Dear mam, i used to watch your program daily.. ur giving very good advice and telling everyone the right way.. Am 22 yrs. During my college days first i loved a guy, he only proposed to me but after tat he told no need when i accepted him.. den he used to speak like he loves me.. after tat i askd him very much whether he wil marry me, he too accepted to tat. But i know tat he was not confident.. Den we started loving.. he always used to speak about sex, like tat only.. But i dont like tat so i tried to change the topic, though he didnt leave tat, i was interested in tat.. after a year he behaved very badly like he won't marry me.. I came to know tat he wont marry me. first itself i know tat he was not confident int his, but i thought i can change him.. den i was not succeeded in tat. so decided to leave him thinking about my future.. Many adviced me to not to love him.. Tat time one of his friend used to speak with me. his friend too adviced to leave him.. but i didnt listen.. den his frnd only changed me and took me away from him. his frnd is so good.. den after few days his frnd proposed me and i told tat i too love him but we shall expose all these, wen we get married.. he too accepted to tat.. now his frnd dont speak abt this but he loves me more.. he know everything about what we did. his frnd told its ok and he loves me very much.. now i dont have any problem with him.. but i feel guilty to him.. throgam panra mari enaku feel.. so am not speaking to him also properly but tat guy didnt take it seriously and not giving me any pressure.. he is so gud. but i feel like crying.. please madam you only have to say how i need to come away from this.. please give me the gud advice to come out.. _rita
- rita tagore

Dear madam, I am regular viewer of your program in Makkal t.v .i was looking forward for such a kind of program that heals our inner wounds in day today life.we are looking forward more from you.I am sending this mail for my brother who has been seriously affected by love mania.I came to know this after three years that i have seen his messages when he finished his third year i asked about this he explained that the girl first proposed him by face book he neglected and she followed him and change his mind by creating soft corner towards her...this matter came to know to their parents and they warned my brother who was her cousins friend too..then the girl got married to another guy.my brother stopped her contact after some days..but that girl didn't leave her and she compromised my bro that it was not her mistake her parents only forced to marry another guy.and created soft corner towards her,relationship started with my bro after knowing this matter the girls parents and shifted to another country and locked her in a room.the girl is giving my brother emotional disturbance in mid night 2o'clock without knowing to her parents,he is suffering from sleeplessness and frustration.even he try to avoid her but she is not leaving him sending vulgar messages.he is showing his anger towards us.still he is hiding this matter to us.my brother told that he leaved that contact but we found they still have contact.he is planning to go Malaysia to study.Every preparations was ready, he is waiting for visa,i came to know that he is planing to marry her their.i even came to know that the girl is going to get divorce soon.i even advice that girl over phone that this is a wrong relation ship but she talked vulgar words.basically my bro is child like character and very good mannered boy.my sister from that same country where she now staying talked to her over phone by the number which i got from brother's phone talked like her friend by saying wrong name.that girl talked nasty,vulgar words this seems that she s totally bad mannered girl..please kindly prefer a solution to save my brother's life from that girl this is too urgent..please reply soon..thank you
- banu

respected doctor I admire your programe very much.I like to follovv your advice.My husband fixed his sisters daughter for my son to get married and vve did function also but after a month only vve came to knovv that my son likes my husband brothers daughter and not his auntys daughter.Big confusion came and novv his sisters brothers all stopped talking vvith us .my husband has 2sisters and 3 brothers.No one is talking vvith us.proposal also has been cancelled.From that day my son stopped talking vvith that girl but he likes her very much.2mths back vve tried to ask that girls opinion by one of our relation.She has said no I didnt love him he is like my brother.Her parents also says that they dislike they both getting married.my son got very much upset.i feel very vvorried about my son.He has lost interest in marriage.pls tell me dr vvhat to do.pls dr dont put this letter in vvall.Kindly send me reply to my mail.I am eagerly vvaiting for your reply dr.pls dont disapoint me doctor.Hoping u vvill surely reply.Thanking you.
- dilshath

dear mam, my husband is a gem of a person we had lived together for 21 years.now he is 47. recently my children found that he had been msging sumone had contact on phone. they told me and to my surprise it was my old neighbour(married and age 35) and he had stored her number with a male name. i had already asked who it was he just bluffed. now i cant accept this betrayal i am totally collapsed. whenever i see him i am not able to walk my speech is slurring my heart is paining. it has been three days i am not able to eat anything.pls give me a remedy _-sheeba
- sheeba

dear mam, my husband is a gem of a person we had lived together for 21 years.now he is 47. recently my children found that he had been msging sumone had contact on phone. they told me and to my surprise it was my old neighbour(married and age 35) and he had stored her number with a male name. i had already asked who it was he just bluffed. now i cant accept this betrayal i am totally collapsed. whenever i see him i am not able to walk my speech is slurring my heart is paining. it has been three days i am not able to eat anything.pls give me a remedy
- sheeba

Dear mam, am a mother of a 7 month old son. Am employed in IT, currently in maternity leave. I want to take up my career further at the same time i dont want my child to be left not cared. My mother passed away when i was just 3 and was taken care by a neighbour when my father is out for work. Though i was blessed with a good care taker, am afraid to leave my child to a care taker. Am afraid if they beat up my son, or he learn their habits in my absense. My in laws are unable to come home and stay, we live alone here. In laws suggest a lady around 40+ to stay home n care my son when am out to work. Am confused. I feel safety of my son as instable then..How does my absence affect my son? Am i doing a sin by prioritising my career? Pls advise. Is leaving him in a day care by age 1 safe?
- Anitha

Thank you very much mam....this is my final clarification mam..really im in love with a guy and he also..but in his family,his own elder sister got love marriage by doing register marriage..in case of no other way,thier parents made it arranged.so that his dad feeling much 4 tat incident by sharing his sorrows..for that my lover wants to be a good guy for them..so that he decided to leave this love bond..and also he dont to miss me and more over dont want to insult their parents in the society in the name of love...he is double minded and much collapsed..my side also parent is very much strict as i said in my previous msgs mam..but he is telling that he dont want to miss me at all and he feeling guilty to leave me..i really dont kno what to decide mam..it is good to leave this relationship or it is good to compramise our parents mam...?
- lavanya

Dear Mallika, Many people when angry do not mean what they say. when a word fight erupts the main thing is hurting the opponent as much as possible so they usually tell something which they later regret. May the words you both used haunting your husband also. So now go to your in-laws and say sorry from your heart. This will help to heal the wounds of all those concerned. Family gets precedence above everything else, not your ego. Once you say sorry your depression will clear and your husband's irritation will vanish. Never think of destroying your beautiful family life instead concentrate on building it with bricks of love patience and forgiveness.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vetrichelvan For appointments call 044-28362531,28362532,28362533 nos.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Ani Private mails are not entertained.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Anitha, It is unfortunate that children are exposed to so many things now so early in life that their stress is more and sometimes they behave eccentrically. Do not be alarmed. May be he behaves normally when you are away. He may crave for more time with you and behaves odd to get your attention quickly. Children do not know how to voice their feelings and fears. Do not punish him. Involve him in all the routine activities of the home like asking to do little errands and talk to like an friend about your job, your fears your ambitions and your desires. Allow him to talk about his day and listen patiently. Children grow up very quickly and will not need the mother's attention once they reach their teens.So spend as much of quality time with him as possible now.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Raji, I am very happy.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shaan How are you! You are correct. Usually it is tough to care for a disturbed individual. Any way a loving empathetic care heals the sick very quickly.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Nirmal Kumar, I am fine. Please refer net for such services.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Over strict parenting is not at all good. It may lead to depression and anxiety. Try and adapt your behavior to the expectations of your parents. Though they are not friendly with you,be firm calm and steady in your activities. Tell them that you are not flirting or falling in love and that you are for normal communication with your classmates, which is part of normal growing up.Do not be afraid.If your father is behaving in a childish way, you be an adult not tell him not to insult you. No one has the right to hurt mentally another person even though it may be the daughter. BE courageous and concentrate on becoming a better individual physically and mentally.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shalinth, My office number is given in the home page.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya Can not prescribe medicines online.
- Shuba Charles

DEAR MAM, i m malika and i hav 2 kids elder daughter of 3 1/2 yrs and son of 2 yrs. my husband is a loving person he takes care of me and my kids vry well .but last year dec 2010 my inlaw people made a big fight with me , they used vry bad words to me and they ask me y i gave to kids and such kind of questions was asked to me by my father inlaw, my husband was there when this fight was going but he was still did not talk a word . then i stay in my mother house with my kids for 2 months . now im with my husband and kids in a seperate house. but tat fight is affected me so much that the hard words of my father inlaw is sometimes echoing in my ears and if my husband tells me anything my mind starts thinking about the past and i start fighting with him telling how his mom and dad troubled me and used hard words .sometimes i feel that i should divorce him and live with my kids alone and my daughter is so attached to her father (my husband) becoz of that i have to live with him . i m also doing my studies m.sc and working in school. but now my husband is not helping me in any work and keeps shouting at me and giv examples of other womens how they live . i m upset with my husband. i m so confused plz help me to find solution for my problem
- malika

Doctor can i get appointment on 24.10.2011
- l.vetrichelvan

Dear mam, how can i send you a private mail so my contents are not posted on wall?
- Ani

Dear Mam, I have seen your programmes the way you guide and give suggestion are pleasing to see and hear. I have a 5 yr. old boy. he behaves very arogent at times . if he wants somthing he makes sures he gets it not is a nice way but differently. he hurts himself by shouting does somthing like a fits patitent crys badly etc.... he uses bad words , shouts at elders ,myself (mother), his father....... then he himself comes to me and say amma what is did was wrong i will not repeat this again and asks sorry. he is such a nice guy with so much of love and affectiion at times he is totoally different. he is so nmatured at times he behaves like a old man. iam totoaly worried about him. what should i do mam. iam working and my parents take care of him till i go home.please help me to make my child grow as a child.please please
- Anitha

Mam, Thanks a lot for ur advice.. As per ur advice, i checked my current thyroid status.. u r exactly right.. my thyroid level is 20. Have to see doctor and wil change my medicine level.. thanks a lot mam.. Raji
- Raji

Dear Doc,actually am under ur treatment currently for mood swings and depression.today i got agitated by the words of my bro and sister and shouted them back , u know i was whacked by my bro and father! this incident really driving to the edge of committing suicide. infact my sister is in regular contact now and all these people are literate, unfortunately. hence better talk to the care takers to give the patient a conducive environment which is very muuch crucial to the betterment of the patient. u can reach me at 8220589220, if u wish to!
- shaan

Dear Mam, How are u Madam, My age is M29, i cant control my emotion. can u suggest doctors / pysctraitcs / hosiptials in coimbatore. best regards, R.Nirmal kumar, coimbatore.
- Nirmal kumar - coimbatore

Dear mam,im lavanya.during my 9th std,i was committed with a guy which i told you in my prev mail itself mam.i kno tats is not a good thing.but ly 15 days i went to that school.after that my dad came to kno about this matter through which i wrote his name and my name in small paper for playing 'flames'.Even that is not a big thing in that age...but my parents taken that as a big matter.they bet me as a street dog..no one talked with me for 1yr.now i just went to my friend home to take my study material with the knowledge of my mom ly.but my father telling tat,i know your indecent activities and i kno about your prev history like that mam.that too my friend home is very near to my home.it is next street of my home only,where i went to get my study material.mam really i get so many pressure from my parents not able to concentrate in anything mam.actually im searching job mam now...pls tell me what should i do mam..i think only solution is my death mam.i feel very much sry about my life.
- lavanya

what is your number? mam
- shalinth

I really thank you for your kind advice mam..I will do well mam...Mam can u suggest me any medicine to get rid of this type of stupid addictions..or can you suggest me any type of meditations to be carried out...because i think my mind was keep on thinking/addicted.i think it is not that much easy to come out and concentrate in other things mam...pls tel me some suggestions mam...
- Lavanya

Dear Lakshmi, Have courage and try to get rid of these phobias by gradual exposure to those things that you are afraid of. You can start by calling out Christian and Muslim name and finding the meaning for them. Hum Pooja songs when free. Attend mild any happy Pooja functions. If the problem is more take serotonin supplements consulting a psychiatrist.
- s

Dear Raji Consult a psychiatrist for getting out of this depression. you are not doing any sin. Thyroxine deficiency can cause skin dryness and cracking of nipple skin so check your thyroid state.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Swapna, Many people take alcohol as a stress reliever but it is not correct as it has the addiction potential. BEER IS LESS HARMFUL SINCE it has low alcohol content. CHECK THE internet. Do not nag your husband and tell him not to exceed one or two bottles a week. Explore other ways of stress reduction and you two can practise them together. You can work for some time to keep you occupied.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Latha, Now that you have delivered a baby, you may be deficient in many nutrients. Many women do not take health supplements after child birth. When feeding the baby a mother needs about double the amount as when she was pregnant. Check your Thyroid status and take thyroxine if necessary. That will stop the mind drifting to the past. Consult a psychiatrist also.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Lavanya, Do not be in a hurry to get married since you are only 22. The world is so big and you will come across so many people. It is not good to get entangled emotionally with the opposite sex in the name of love. When it started you were only 14! Now start looking around for a job and keep yourself occupied. You should learn to feel happy all by yourself and not depend on a love affair to make you happy. It is better to let your parents know that you want to work before you get married, sothat they do not hurry into finding you a groom.
- Shuba Charles

My dear Sri, Happy to know about your desire to do something in life rather than waste time worrying and idling. i would suggest that you join some Women self help group. They have lot of government support and easy access to many international organisations. As for finding your potential, do not worry too much about it. I suggest you read many business magazines. Something will catch your attention and kindle your spirits. If you do any business consistently and patiently you are sure to succeed.
- Shuba Charles

madam, i feel afraid to be with muslims and christians.. dont know why.. am a hindu.. i feel afraid to go poojas when ladies samiyadal.. i feel afraid to see them.. i cant avoid such poojas,, . how should i feel brave and be courage to attend such poojas.. tell me pls pls pls pls
- lakshmi

MADAM, I AM HAVING 4 MONTHS OLD BABY NOW.. i cant able to breast feed like all mom, from the beginning.. in the first day, milk didnt came, so doctor gave lactare tablet.. next day my son didnt kept his mouth and suck .. even doctor, nurses and pediatrician and my elder family members all tried , but he didnt suck . after one week he did,but my nippl became cracked, sore.. i put cream and tablets but still now pain there llike helll.. i am giving lactogen 1 to my baby.. many creams and gels tried but nothing worked.. still doctor giving me treatment for this.. becaus of this chronic pain i feel very irritated and depressed.. i feel like am hurting my baby.. sometimes my baby hrting me by biting nipple or not even sucking.. what should i do mam.. i dont know waht sin i made.. i cant able to give my milk to my baby.. i dont want to live this sinful life.. pls tell mam, sometimes i became more depresed beacause of this pain and when i see my baby.. is ther any solution for this.. i fear, whether i may get in to post partum depression.. pls how can i recover from this illness and depression.. waitin for ur valuable and lovable reply..
- RAJI

Dear Doctor, I always admire you and your way of explaining to people who are in trouble. Hats- off to you. My mother had both expression and depression in my childhood days and both myself and mom had been taken a very good care by my loving dad. Even my mother’s parents didn’t worry about my mom’s health. Both my parents are working. I completed my BE and worked in an MNC for 2 years. I resigned my job at the time of my marriage which is a love come arranged and me and my husband are now residing in Delhi. My age is 24 and my husband’s age is 33. He is working as a Process Manager in MNC. I am not working now. We got married in June 2010 and we have started to plan for a baby before a month and he is not ejaculating some days. I think that may be due to the pressure that we should have contact during ovulation period. My main Problem is my husband is asking me every weekend that he wants to drink 2 bottles of beer. I was saying no to him in the beginning for 3 months and he didn’t drink and he didn’t speak to me for the next 3 days, but he went for an office trip and everyone there drank and he also did. After that he asked me after two weeks that he wants to drink beer because he is stressed. So I asked him to get that to home and drink in front of me. I said this by thinking that this will not happen regularly. But the immediate next week he asked me the same. I was shocked and said no. See this will become a habit. Only at that time I came to know through my house owner that he has been drinking when we were in love also. She said he drank everyday. I didn’t know what to do after this and I asked him about this. He said yes and he is not understanding the consequences of drinking beer. He in turn tells me that I know the limit. An ordinary human being can drink 7 bottles of beer a day. But I am asking 2 bottles per week. He also says that he likes to drink beer and he asks me to stop drinking coffee, even that affects your health. You like coffee, so there is no problem if you take that. The main reason you are not allowing me not to drink is that you have ego. Like this and all he is yelling at me doctor. He says I am not understanding him. How can I handle this doctor. Can I allow him to drink once in a week or once in a month. If not please tell me what are the health hazards of taking that so that I can tell him elaborately. Now a days he has started to say that I am going to do what other husbands are doing. They are hiding from their wives what they are doing. But I am fool I am asking you permission every time. Please help me doctor. I am in real mental pressure. Because of this both of us are not happy.
- Swapna

Madam, i am seeing ur program daily.. i want Makkal tv to pls put this program all the days.. Madam, my problem is , thoughts are coming often mam.. if its good thought means ok na.. unnecessary and negative thoughts are coming mam.. i am thinking either about past or about future.. i know very well, present is only life.. what we are living at this moment is only life.. but cant able to control manytimes.. how to control my thoughts and come to present mam.. am a housewife, age 27, 3 month old baby, even having small baby in hand and household works, my thoughts moving like pendulum between past and future.. becaus of my mom in law house,, we r in joint family..i want to live in present only always.. pls tell me how to live at present all the times.. pls tell me mam, want to stay active always (like u) my best wishes to u. bye mam
- latha

Hi mam,i proud to see u mam..really u r doing a great job..even u r a god to many of us mam..im a 22yr girl..completed my B.E,searching for a job..Really i need ur suggestion for my life mam..im in love with a guy for past 8yrs....nd since i got many problems after my parents came to know our love in the beginning..they treated me very badly..so that i become like a saddiest..then,due to tat small age and lonliness i got addict to him..i feel that my world is he ly..im not able to live a peaceful life without him...but he is not like what i think..he is very happy in his life,then we were separated for one year..without any intimation he left me...after one year he came back and asked sry..Reason behind wy he left me is due another girl...with the bad mood me also accepted him with half mind..we get more fights now..i used to fight him for not spending time with me...what i think in my heart is he is not interested to talk with me...Mam finally should i leave him now?my parents also will not accept for my marriage with him..if he also have less interest on me how can i live him mam...now i decide not to marry anybody in my life...am i right mam...but now his love on me is true i think..wat i guess is he using me in his free time mam..my gess is right mam.....plsssssss show me right path mam...i became very much depressed,not having any interest in my surroundings...plz help me..i beg u mam....
- Lavanya

Dear Mam, naan ungala ammava pakaren, i became addictive and i like ur program very much.. superb and feeling happy and interesting to see u mam.. want to hear ur intelligent answers and inspirational speech more and more.. mam,my age is 27 now and i got married on 2009 and delivered male baby 3 months before.. from childhood i suffered lot and cried a lot becaus of my parents problem, and prayed many times no one should suffer lik me.. i completed b com and worked 3 years. after marriage i left job. i am having probs in my inlaws house too, becaus of mom in law father in law and sis in law. but my husband cares me and my child wel. mam, now one doubt, i want to earn money. whether thro office or business or any home based jobs, this is after my son come to one stage only.. that means after one or two year. what should i do mam.. i wan to know in what work i may shine.. enakkulla enna thiramai irukkunu epdi mam kandu pidikradhu.. i am longing for this since long time.. very eager to do something useful.. becaus if my mind is idle, negative thought s coming and thinking about mom in laws and their useless talks.. to escape from that i used to read many english woman magazines like new woman, woman era etc. all useful and provides me more knowledge,, these books giving and inspiring me more.. in net also i used to browse a lot usefully... i dont want to waste my precious and abundant knowledge in thinking of those useless things.. i dont want to waste my life and my knowledge.. pls guide me mam.. dont know what to do.. naan enna velai seidha , naan munnera mudiyum, matrum adhil jolikka mudiyum.. enakulla irukkum adhigapadiyana thiramai enna??? idhu epdi kandupidikradhu, pls sollunga.. aavaludan kathirukiren.. anbudan ungal magal
- sri

Dear Meena, Stop being obsessed with your in-laws. Start counting the good things you have in this life like a loving husband and a cute baby. Let them talk to your parents and to anybody they like. The more they abuse you the more those who hear it will pity you and support you. Please remember, your husband will love and respect you more and will be very thankful to you if you can treat his parents with respect. Theemaiyai nanmaiyenal vellalam.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Nancy, So we share the same wave length! Come out, open a web-site and share your wonderful thoughts and ideas. I will support you.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr Velayutham, Thank you so much for your liberal kind appreciative words which will help me do my job with more enthusiasm and vigor. Those who appreciate others have a beautiful heart and I thank you for possessing one.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr.K Velayutham Getting angry often can be due to many reasons. Some deficiency like Iron, Calcium, Magnesium etc and Insulin and Thyroxin can lead to irritability. Take her for a through health check-up. She will need your support in bringing-up the children which can be very exhausting.Appreciate her liberally and be kind and gentle to her. Then she can reflect the same attitude to your children. Her concentration and confusion levels will improve if her health improves with proper rest and care. Give your wife those things and you can see her personality change beautifully.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Vathsalya Take your brother to a psychiatrist immediately. don't take his threats of suicide lightly. They may be his cries for help.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Subakiavathy, Thanks for the compliments. I have a Genius son. He is 13 yrs now and he is the youngest Indian author, written two books. ( Raja Monsingh) Search Google. Now he is blooming as a musician also.My way of mothering all my three children is showing them unconditional love, respecting them and treating them as adults even when they are one yr old, never asking them to do what they don't like and never ordering them to study. I allowed them to grow like the trees in the forest and they have become the most wonderful exotic plants and growing into trees. Love respect and trust will help your little son achieve more than what you have imagined.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Nuri Your message is incomplete.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sarvesh Gupta Your message is incomplete.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Triphena, The percentage of people who get into bad company and do not shine in life is very very small when compared to the percentage who complete their studies and become successful. Do not make a mountain out of a mole hill. Life is too precious to waste it in imaginative worries. Your son is right. Just trust him.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Malathi, I am so happy that you have overcome your problem of frigidity - we call it that way. I am flattered because you give me the credit. My humble thanks to you. Any way your positive approach and your love, affection and trust you have for your husband has healed you. Happy Honey Moon always!
- Shuba Charles

Dear Raji, Milk has a calming and sedative effect. Sadhvic foods - non veg less spicy bland foods can also cool the nerves and strenghthen the mind.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Rabia, Happy that you like my programme. Regarding the wt gain, for your ht a wt of 58 to 62 will be ideal. So you are slightly over wt. This is perfectly normal during post child birth. It will take around one yr to 3 yrs to regain the pre pregnancy wt. But with effort you can achieve it sooner. i am happy that you are feeding your baby. Don't worry about the C section because it heals quickly and completely. Feeding your baby and eating healthy diet takes priority over looking slim. Don't be swayed by others ignorant and negative ideas. Be happy and enjoy the beauty and bloom of recent motherhood.
- Shuba Charles

Hello Madam, I have great trouble with my in -laws. I am 28 years old and have a wonderful husband and blessed with a baby boy. he is 1 year old.. I ahve been married for 4 years. But My in-laws cant let me live happily. My concerns about them are: 1. They always blame me for EVERYTHING. Even if it is their mistake.. They will justify their mistake by blaming me. 2. They black mail me all the time. How ever nice I behave they always find a mistake out of that and tell me " We are going yo call your parents and talk to them". I love my parents a lot and dont want to hurt them. but my FIL will call my dad and scold him for raising me like this. 3. My Mother in law is such a wonderful actor. She behaves like she is caring me so much in front of others and she treats me like a stone when I am alone. I cant tolerate her acting. How can I handle my life? I wnat to be happy but no matter what I do i end up with a problem. Please reply madam.
- Meena

Dear Dr,Iam Nancy -coimbatore.Iam a psychologist.Generally my fellow psychologists will always call me as PSYCHOLOGIST of the last century bcos I will always advice my clients to more society,family,oriented.I will never advice them anything which is out of Indian culture.Iam surprised and happy to see you on the show in my same wave length.God bless you.
- Nancy kurian

I thank and appreciate your kindness and deep knowledge on the subject and the way you explain the situation and how candicate can improve the situation, etc.. I admire of you. I pray god to give more life and engery to you, so that many more people can be saved in this wonderful world.
- velayutham

Hi Dr., I come to know about you thru tamil TV channels. My wife gets angry very fast even for small things. She is scolding my kids always for their small mistakes also, but I feel she is not appreciating the kids for their good work, rather she get anger as they do too many other work than studying. She is also too much confused on taking decission like which food to cook, etc.. even if we give some suggestion, she will agree but later end up in preparing something else. Please suggest how she can reduce her anger and confusion level. Thanks in advance
- kvelayutham

MAdam i have to ask for my brother. He is studying in hostel. He is very depressed and saying that he is going to get suicide. I am very depressed so plz say any suggestion. His parents are very strict also. I can't talk to him because of his mind set. So plz give any suggestion.Thank you
- vaathsalya

Hello doctor i am seeing ur program i like very much it is very useful. I have 9 month baby i have to bring him a multitalented person. What i have to do for that
- subakiavathy

I have 9 month baby. Imust bring him a talented baby. what i have to do. He should be talented in playing, studying and in all fields. I am seeing your program its very useful and good. I like ur program very much.
- subakiavathy

I have 9 month baby. Imust bring him a talented baby. what i have to do. He should be talented in playing, studying and in all fields. I am seeing your program its very useful and good. I like ur program very much.
- subakiavathy

I have 9 month baby. Imust bring him a talented baby. what i have to do. He should be talented in playing, studying and in all fields. I am seeing your program its very useful and good. I like ur program very much.
- subakiavathy

irregular period.
- nuri

i am intrested..................
- sarvesh gupta

Dr Doc Im TRIPHENA I praise GOD for the wonderful work u r doing Im a teacher so I WATCH Ur prog when ever time permits I realy love it mam I have a son who has just gone to college I know he is 18 able to take care of himself Ihave my own fears how he will manage the world when I talk to him he says ennaku therium ma neeinga tension aagatheenga it is not a big fear but nagging thoughts that he will get into bad company help me to get rid of my fears I hope I conveyed myself Thank U Dr
- TRIPHENA

Vanakam Dr. Shuba. Im Malati from Malaysia....Im a great fan of u....I really can see God in you...Ur such a great woman....U inspire me so much...Im 32 and married 6 years....Im had a phobia of having sex with my husband almost 5 years...I went to see many gynaechology and psychiatrist but nothing helps...But once i start watching ur program Im successfully overcomed my phobia....nOw I and my husband able to have normal sexual life...Thanks a lot Dr...I wish I can meet u.....Thanks again Dr....Love U so much...
- Malati

Madam, Thanks a lot for your reply. Pls help me, medicine i get from u when i meet u .. as of now for current situation , what food should i give her.What food or any other nuts fruits veg like that can make her mind strength? What diet can make her mind strenght??? pls help...
- Raji

hi madam,i am watching ur programe regularly n u doing great job.more over m getting addiction to ur programe now -a days.m rabia,24 yrs old,married a year back,having 3 mnts baby on c-section,m quiet worried about getting obessed day by day.more over my mom ,my husband n people around me making it a big issue.m 69 kg n 5.3 ft.should i work out on this account as much they worry.m following exercise n walk daily , my child taking mother feed alone n i couldnt control on my food intake.....kindly suggest me - RABIA
- rabia

Dear Raji Sami aduthal can happen in some ladies when they get mesmerized by music. Drum beats can captivate the mind and make people behave in ways which they later regret. There are some good medicines to strengthen the mind. Please ask her to avoid such situations as of now
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sri, Thank you so much for the pure Love and Trust that you shower on me. I must thank all of you for the support and kindness you provide me unconditionally. May God bless you and give you all your heart's desires.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Sasikala, Thanks for your lovely words. I am happy that you like the butterfly concept. This week I am going to talk about the Fish and the Hook concept. Hope you will like it.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr.Charles, Your kind encouraging words will pep up my spirits and enable me to do my duties sincerely with humbleness. I am happy that you have a beautiful wife and a lovely family abroad. With regards
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr.Suresh Thanks for the beautiful crisp message in Tamil. THough I can not type as beautifully as you, my heart felt thanks for your encouragement.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mr.Suresh Thanks for the beautiful crisp message in Tamil. THough I can not type as beautifully as you, my heart felt thanks for your encouragement.
- Shuba Charles

My dear Uma, thank you so much for the friendship day wishes.Though late my hearty friendship wishes for you. You should definitely get married when you come across the right person. Keep in touch.
- Shuba Charles

madam please enakku oru help madam.. my mother suffering because of samy aduthal.. whenever she going amman temple or any temple or hearing any udukkai sound , she cant able to control.. how this is happening madam.. what is the reason.. she feeling shame later.. pleas e madam how to control this.. is there any way for this..or any medicine.. waiting for ur valuable reply.. please please madam.. please reply
- raji

All the best mam
- sri

dear mam i am regularly watching ur program in makkal tv.. superb and very useful to all of us.. whenever i feel depressed, i think of ur face and speech and become positive and happy.. u r spreading positive vibrations to all of us thro ur speech in this program.. without hope man cant live in this world.. u r the giving that hope to all of us.. no other service is greater than this.. pls keep on doing.. may god and nature bless u and ur family always.. keep on smiling always like now.. ur family members are very lucky to have u with them.. no words to praise u mam.. these words r coming from my heart only.. take care mam.. bye
- sri

Dear Mam, im sasikala from Qatar. i have been watching ur program on Makkal TV since last 2 months.. i never miss ur program.. im personally a follower of ur solutions in many situations... When ever i got problem i think of ur butterfly concept.. thanks mam... i wish u all the best for ur long life service.. -sasikala
- sasikalamanivannan

Respected Madam, Praise the Lord! My name is Charles and I am working abroad as a Online Export Marketing Manager. I have been watching your program on Makkal TV since last three months. Your answers to the callers are specifically encouraging and a perfect solutions to their questions. Even the viewers are very much getting advantage of the answers and solutions you give. I am personally very much a follower of your solutions in many situations and often tell my wife to do like this, do like that to handle certain normal situations and problems of mother in laws and daughter in laws in every home. Thanks to you for a wonderful life filled program and thanks to God for giving such a person like you in this world. Regards / Charles
- Charles

உங்கள் நிகழ்ச்சி மிகவும் பயனுள்ளதாக உள்ளது. தொடர்ந்து செய்யுங்கள்.
- suresh

Natpu yenbathu kaikalukul ​eye iruka vendum yendru ninaika kudathu. Kai vittu sendralum thavarana paadhaiyil ​ sellakudat ​hu yendru ninaika vendum. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY.
- UMASANKARI

Thank you very much mam. First of all i'm very happy for the reason of your replying. I consider it in my mind and I must do it mam. You'r so encouraging to me mam. In future what can I do? Shall I get married or not mam. Because I'm the only one for my mom. I want to take care husbands parents too If I get married. Please suggest me mam. Thank you. Happy friendship day
- UMASANKARI

Hello madam,i am 27yrs old.my husband is a businessmanm.to help his parents he gave money by pledging my jewels one by one.finally he has credit about 7lakhs.my fatherinlaw helr a part of 3 lakhs and said don't expect more help from me he wants to send his son for a job.but my husband didn't complete his degree(BA,Cycology),he runs an electricals shop for 3 years.i said "i can go for a job that i have completed my BSc ComputerScience.But my father in law don't accept it.Please tell me is my fatherin law decision is correct or not.I want to know this mam.because from 10th std onwards he(my husband) used to do business only.Iknow about him that he has not much confidence to go to ajob.he earns about 10000in his shop.{ennudaiya mama panam ketkum podhu enn nagaigalai vaithu koduthom enbathai solla vendaam endru enn kanavar sonnadhaal enn nagaigalai vaithu naanum enn kanavarum yedho seidhuvitten endru ninaikindranar .naan andha unnmaiyai sollalaamaa? alladhu appadiye vittuvidalaamaa.endha vishyam enn petrorukku theriyaadhu.naan enna seiya vendum.enn kanavarin annangalum udhani seiyya villai.enn mamanaar,ennperiya athaan ellaarukum enn nagailai vaithu udhavi seithu adhil vatti katta mudiyaamal kadan adhikamaagi vittadhu.idhuthaan nadandhadhu.}PLEASE MAM I WANT ANSWER .
- THEEBA

hi my dear est mam thank you very much . appadi naan kalyanam panni tamil naduku varum pothu unggalai kandipa vanthu parpen thank mam for your suggestion .
- shasikalah

Dear Mr Rahman, Undue anger and irritation can be due to mental illness. Take your mother to a psychiatrist. Continue to support her financially and socially because she can not be blamed for her ill behavior.
- Shuba Charles

Thank you so much Padmini
- Shuba Charles

Sure, Balageethamani. But writing individual answers will be difficult. Come to discussion board.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Umasankari Please take away the hatred for your father from your mind. Fill your mind with love and peace. Whenever your father's thought comes say in your mind, though you have left us father, I forgive you and I love you. This will help you to get healed of the mental injury that was caused. Thyroid profile is a very sensitive test. You can take Thyroxine 50 mgm and check again. Consult a Endocrinologist if possible.
- Shuba Charles

My dear Shasikalah, So nice hearing from you. Ungal parattukku romba nantri. sinna vayathu...uyarntha aasai. very good. when you desire something great the whole universe will work together to grant you, your desire. Wishes.
- Shuba Charles

thank you Aisha
- Shuba Charles

dear mam, greetings fortunately i saw ur program last week realy ur words are worth as diamond mam.. the way u sooth people s wonderfull .. keep ur great work going.. may god blee u good health. u r the need of an hour mam take care
- narmadha

hai madam, first of all i would like to thanks for your wonderful word good in makkal tv,you learn to all people how to deal and insha allah god give you more health to long live. my problem between my father and my mother, my father working in Dubai and my mother house wife around 7years the not talking each other when my father come for vaction the not talk and some time the my father force to take food in hotel i ask my mother what the problem between you he told me · se not send money · he is not good man he was going with some girl · he not calling from gulf ,every month one time he call not asking aboutchildren · he is lazy to do any job · he not taking care anything · he was sending money to his sister · when I ask my father he told · your mother not obey anytime · she was talking some person in telephone when i come she close the phone · she need only money · when my father in home ,when she go outside inform him tell anything · she was fight with all family member giving badwords but commonly i observed from the my mother not obey anything she was fight with his father and mother (my grand)and not talking with them for two years she fight all family his sisters and my father side also she like only my sister and when he give money for him 2lakhs she is hiding to me but I never ask about this now she not talking with our neighbors’ and some of our relative bcoz the support me when I talk with mother my father was lazy and he was quit ,not care other thing good he is in gulf around 15years now my father age 63 now he want to give divorce and he want second marriage he asking to me mam i am working Qatar and my wife with me ,last one year my mother not talking with me and fight with my wife about dowery i told my mother u should ask anything she use most of time bad word to all and she use bad word to my uncle an aunty so when the ask me i can't answer to my uncle but all my family talking with good the like me too much now my mother alone in our come only i am sending money to him not talking my mother told i don't want to see your father face even after death please give advice MOM
- rahman

DEAR MAM, I AM REGULARLY WATCHING YOUR PROGRAM. THE WAY YOU TALK.... AMAZING... I HAVE TAKEN MANY OF YOUR WORDS TO OTHER PEOPLE INTO MY OWN LIFE.
- PADMINI

thank u mam for ur suggestion.
- buvaneswari

hai mam i am watching u in makkal tv thank u for ur great words if i told my problem thorugh email can u advice me or not.
- balageethamani

hai mam i am watching u in makkal tv thank u for ur great words if i told my problem thorugh email can u advice me or not.
- balageethamani

Hello madam. This is UMASANKARI. My age is 22. Now I had written my M.A. Tamil literature final year exams. In this year I had joined in B.ed. In these small age. I have many confusions. I have no father. He just leave my mom and get marry another one. I never seen him. My mom was spend her one year life with that idiot. Now me and my mom is in our grandpa's home. My uncle taking care of me. There is no economical problems. I have asthma also. Due to that side effects of that medicine I got over obese. I'm very much disappoint in my life. I just jealous about other girls. Seeing all those things I hate marriage. If in quarrels any one said about my father or any one compare me with my father means I got angry. I just throw the things that I hold because I said he did second marriage but he leave her with two childrens.what a stupid he is. Thats why I got that much anger. I was very sensitive. You said that thyroid hormone is important for all these things but I always in thyronormalcy condition. Please give me a suggestion.
- UMASANKARI

hi mam good morning . do you remember that yesterday im was calling you from malaysia ? mam unmaiyalumae nenga rombha alaga irukinga super mam rombha nalla pesuringa , ungkitha konjam kudha antha ego nu sollvangala anthu illai mam u really done a good job ungga sevai mendum mendum thodaranum mam . en valkaiyil oru kasthamum illai mam im im 23 years old doing own business in malaysia i love my family 1st of all i thank to god give me wonderful appa amma and family . ok mam en asai oru tamilnadu guy than kalyanam pannanum endru so athai pathi unga opinion enna mam ? ennaku chinna vayasu irunthalum eppadi oru family nalla paddi uruvakanum endru en amma kithayum unga kithayum rombha learn panniruken mam . tq and marakama unga opinion sollunga ..
- shasikalah

hiii dr...hw ru....??i hv been watching ur programme in makkal channel..........ur jst amazing in advicing people.!!all gud luck 2 u..!!
- aisha

Dear Mr.Mohamed Ibrahim, Thank you so much for your kind words.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Shasikalah, You can talk about your problems in the discussion board or on the wall. tq :)
- Shuba Charles

Dear Buvaneswari I like your beautiful way of conveying things concisely, correctly, courteously, completely and with concern and clarity -characteristics needed for effective communication. you certainly have skills in that area. Your skills in naturopathy and yogic science will bloom and bear fruits. But remember, there is a right time for every activity. Now you are a young wife and a new mother. Caring for a one year old can be consuming. Enjoy this beautiful stage of life as much as possible. Children grow up very fast and become independent. A mother"s best job is to be there for her kid when she needs her most.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Madam Tmt.Chandra Ramanathan, Thanks for your appreciation and effort. Thank you so much.
- Shuba Charles

Dear Mdm.Rajeswari Thank you so much for your lovely word,"cool person". I just love it. I lost my father when I was seven years old, and my mom a young widow raised all the seven of us single handedly with great courage and wisdom. I bow my head to you with loving regards and appreciation.
- drshubacharles

Dear madem, I am working in saudi arabiya as an Electrical Engineer.i watch your programme most of the time.very nice.your way of approch to give the solution is very good.Even this programme for ladies but Your advice is useful for men also.i wish you all the best.God will support your long life and service. Thanks with S.Mohamed Ibrahim,Madurai
- mohamed ibrahim

dear mam am regularly watching your program really you done a great job mam . im from malaysia i need some solution from u mam please . please reply as soon as possible . tq .
- shasikalah

doctor, i m daily watching ur program.its very good i suggest all my friends to watch this.mam im 28 yrs . i have completed bachlor of naturopathy and yogic science [bnys],got married 3yrs back and having a girl baby of 1yr.my husband is not interested in my profession from the time of marrage, where he want me as a home maker. kindly suggest me.thank you.
- Buvaneswari

Dear Doctor, I am regularly watching your programme"kottytheerthuviduThozhi" in MakkalT V daily at 3-30t 4-30 afternoon.It is very useful.I suggest to all my friends to watch your programme regularly. Tmt.ChandraRamanathan, Coimbatore-22
- Tmt.ChandraRamanathan

Gd Evening ! Dr. I am from Malaysia, Recently 2 weeks ago tuned to CH 203 ...suddenly your program was on...What a cool person you are...I am glad watching it . as many women I am a widow, each program of yours which intereract with people ,i am overcoming my problems and gain a lot of knowledge from your program...will like to meet you soon . KEEP UP YOur Good Work.May all efforts and advice reach people all over the world. SYABAS Regards.Rajeswari
- Mdm.Rajeswari

Dear Vimal Your Daddy and Mummy would have guessed something is amiss with you. Do not be in a rush to declare something that can precipitate an emotional fight. Finish your studies and when you become independent, you can open up. Till then be discreet.
- shuba charles

Dear Dr, I am Nirmal, from Coimbatore, Electronic Engineer (Single ,Age - 28). I saw ur program in makal T.V .Its very nice the way, positive energy talk and solve the problems. I have become your fan and keep telling every one to watch this program in Makal T.V., # ) Madam i have a problem of negative thinking, Doubt of all persons include friends, home members, Due to "doubt", "not believe of any" So i cant understand love,so i am hurting others, So i want to stop doubt with help of Doctors, Can u give suggestion/recommened doctors/ hosipitals in coimbatore. #) Note - My mummy also have same type of problem - Due to doubt - daddy - mummy fight(but not now). Please helpme in this regards, With best regards, R.Nirmal kumar. 9345336025
- R.Nirmal kumar

hi madam i watch ur programme regularly it is very good ia want to say about my problem at present we have spending 4 years of life but i and my husband have lot of quarels within us financially i have a 1 year baby i dont have any one to look after the baby but he wants to me to work in a bank or a teacher he often gets angry about this matter he says u often think in a low level u dont have a better idea what to do he thinks i maust make a good financial support we dont have a close relationship physically and i will get a mental stress in this regard what to do can u give me a solution often we have a quarel atleast 2 days once he gets very much of angry and dont no what to do please help for a haPPY LIFE FOR EACH AND EVERYTHING HO PIN POINTS ME.
- sudha

HELLO MAM, my name is vimal,iam 17yrs old,im studying in class xii,iam a boy,i have put in big problem which is tough to be solved throughout the life.let me tell my problem.it goes here: right now iam 17yrs, iam affected with Gender dyphoria, also known as Gender Identity Disorder.i mean iam unhappy with my biological sex and wishes to belong to the other one.yeah since my childhood i feel myself as a girl and not as a boy.i use to play with girls and wander with girls and i do not like to mingle with boys.i even have sexual attraction with boys and not with girls.it does not mean iam a gay i mean iam a transgirl. we are three sons for our parents.i do not hav any sister.iam the youngest one of all.my dad is an angry person.my parents do not know that iam a transgirl.i couldn't bear this life.i have been teased in school since my childhood because of my feminish action which is expressed unknownly.as i said my parents do not know anythning about this.i wanted to tell them that iam a transgirl,but i do not have gutts to tell.but still i feel gulity tht iam hideing something from my parents.iam sure that there reaction will be harsh if they come to know that iam trans and they will ignore me but i do not want me to put in such a stutaion.which will affect my studies.i do not want it.i wanna be an educated person in this society .because of my gender identity iam being teased in classrooms.due to which iam looseing my concentration. now,i kindly request you please suggest me few ideas that how can i tell my partents that iam a transgirl.if i do so they need to realise that my birth is also by nature and have to show same love which they show now towards me.but i don't think my dad will accept me completly beacuse he always gives an adivise that i have to be a brave man which i hate the most.infact i had an agruments with when i said him i wanna shave my moutache.he didn"t allow me to do for long time after long struggle i shaved it. iam sue that as a psychiatrist you can counsule me better.please tell me what to do now? hope you will guide me in right path and awaiting for your replay.please understand me mam and replay as soon as possible.
- vimal

i see u r program in makkal tv.i am flower medisun coseltent. social worker.i see u r program every week.o know how find problem how to speck to person. pl give to permission to me 10 mintes to speck to u
- ramalingam.nsv

mam first of all i love u so much im vanitha 18 years old now im doing my b.e mam.me and my mom used to see ur program my mom is great fan of u mam.my native is coimbatore thanks to ur ideas ill meet u oneday surely.god is great to give such a kind lady to give solution to many of our problems take care mam bye.
- vanitha devi

Dear Shobha Kumaran, I will be delighted to see you when you are here. Thanks for the kind words.
- shubacharles

Dear Masutha Thank you so much. I am happy that you are being more positive.
- Shubacharles

thank you Kalaivani.
- shubacharles

Thank you Mr.Thasil. We will soon start a programme for men also.
- shubacharles

Dear Mr.Venkataraman Thank you so much for your wonderful appreciation. I can note your scholarly and intellectual skills. Your words are valuable to me.
- Dr.Shubacharles

Madem Your program very very excellent which is telecast by Makkal TV (Koti theirduvidu tholzi) , Now i am in Saudi Arabia and i am working as a IT engineer,My Native place Thanjavur Dist, Ayyampettai. Actually your program telecast 4:00 PM everyday that time i can't watch the program because i am in office. so they telecast again 12:00 PM same day ( Saudi Time 9:30 PM to 10:30 PM), that i am watching the program and how you give solution every call very ecellent. Sumal request please start program for men also [ Your Every Discussin Point is valuable] - By Thasil Mohamed , saudi Arabia
- Thasil Mohamed

I watch your programs...Excellent is a small word...I am not a Scholar to get an appropriate word for the excellence...Your observation and guidance case by case is astonishing..Sometimes you are very firm in your analysis and you dont hesitate to point out the mistakes on either side..God bless you...
- P N Venkataraman

Thank you for your guidance Mam!
- Kalaivani

dear madam, your program give me a lots of positive think to me.best wishes to you.
- masutha

I'm from Malaysia. I love to watch ur program, ur advice is great. God Bless U.
- Umah

Dr. I AM FROM MALAYSIA .... I WISH I WAS IN CHENNAI SO I CAN BE WITH YOU FACE TO FACE. YOU HAVE A VERY MOTHERLY LOOK. YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PERSON FEEL GOOD . YOU ARE SERIOUS AND HUMOUROUS TOO. I FEEL SO CLOSE TO YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND TO ME .
- Shobha Kumaran

Hello Dr. i always wait for ur programme. i really enjoy it because i have been learning alot from ur programme. At the age of 55 i still have to learn alot about life . Its not easy to live with anyone these days ....... but u have made my life so easy and simple. i learned and am still learning from all the advise u have given to all the problems faced by the women living all over the world .THANK YOU VERY MUCH........ please keep on doing this good deed forever in ur life . There are so many people or women who need you. GOD BLESS YOU
- Shobha Kumaran

Dear dr, I saw programme recently and it was very nice.am reciding in kuwait and i have lot of problems.I dnt know how to talk with u as am watching in a home who is not a good women.So am confused how to contact you mam,right now am pregnant and i cant come to India.so,please kindly give me a good option to be in contact with you.sorry for disturbing you mam.thank you
- mariyambee anwarali

Dear Mam, your programme give me and many of us strength, clear vision and confidence. I'm looking forward to your reply soon. Pls reply me ya. thank you so much.
- geeta

Dear Dr.Subha, I would like to fix the appointment with you for my sister. Kindly do the needful Yamini
- Yamini

hello! Can I read how geethas problem has been solved and what is Mam"s advice to her.
- Renuka

Dear Dr.Shuba I need some personal consultation ,kindly give me your appointment to meet
- Parveen

I'm house wife taking care my 2 daughters aged 8 & 14 (last year I quit my job to take care them due to cant get maid). My children need a lot of supervision to do their work (any work) & very much addicted to Television programmes. They need guide in their studies as well. Weekends I teach tuition (to support my family). My husband is a manager. He's very busy at work and comes home late. weekends he wants to rest and enjoy (most of the weeks) sometimes he takes care of children during my classes. My husband says dont force children to study, they will grow up and live as their faith. He shows his work stress when he teach our children & beat. I'm very much stressed with all. How can I make my home very loving and helping each other? Is it ok if I do my classes during weekends and dont spend time with my family? Can my children grow up as faith like my husband says? My husband always say: Live is very short so enjooy yourself before its too late. I'm very confused. Pls help.
- geeta

Dear Dr.....i completed my B.E.in 2008 i am now 24 male.till now i didnt got job,,,and i got placement in one mnc while stdying,but they did not called me..!..i dont know what to do...in my career....i dnt have that much skill to get job,since no job i took tution to students...from 2008.but this year i hv decided not to take tutions.and this year students are very close to me...in that specifically one boy he s vry discipline and good boy.he s good in mathematics and what ever i say he wil do and such a obedient boy and so i have decided we have to help this boy till he finishes college and after tution now he is not at all behaving properly...and that to i openly told u r my hope...i wil support in all ur ways and now days he s avoiding me lot and not listening my words...i am caring like his parents..but he is not understanding me.since i m job less that depression and this boys attitude is disturbing me a lot...i need peace of mind....even in church during prayers iam unable to concentrate,my mind is not with me .Mam please do not post this in your wall pls.
- no name

Dear Dr i wrote it wrongly in me letter that students do know how parents are important it should be that they dont know how parents are suffering and they should realise about parents and their values.please excuse. yours rajashree
- rajashree

dear dr., i thankyou for your reply, how to write to you from the discussion board from my id after login .Also all know that both alcohol and smoking is bad for health but why they are doing it if an uneducated does this it is out of his innosense but if all the educated are doing it how to stop it, i think in future (i.e, if the same situation continous) all will be having one disease or the other other (cancer or other relared diseases ) i am bored and fed up .Also in your program in tv please tell some points for teen ages i.e, college going students because they do know how important are parents also if we tell them they wont accept. friends are needed but also parents.Dr you said i should add salt and chilly already he is having high bp (aten 100 ) he is using but he wont cut his salt even for curd rice he will put extra salt but still let me try it .bye thanking you, yours faithfully, rajashree
- rajashree

Vnkm Dr. I am a Malaysian residing in Penang, Malaysia, aged 63 years. I watch your program via Makkal TV (Ch 203) every Wednesday. You are great and very good. Keep up your good service and excellent advice to members of broken families. Nandri, vnkm.
- SELVAKUMAR RAMACHANDRAN

I love the way you speaks with a beutiful smile on your face. MAY GOD BLESS YOU TODAY AND ALWAYS!!!!
- MAGES

Greetings...!!! My name is Pravin working in Kuwait. My wife Sridevi is a regular viewer of Kotti Teerth Vidu Thozhi (Makkal TV). I want to thank you for your endless support to the humanity my wife’s thoughts has changed dramatically. I am encouraging everyone to watch Makkal TV. The way you are encouraging ladies to tackle with life is amazing. Once again Thanks a Lot for your support.
- Pravin Subramani

hi doctor im from malaysia.congratulations for u.i like to watch your program on makkal tv not even miss 1 day.its a nice program and the caunseling that u give is good for all the people who watch.thanks a lot doctor.hope your program will be continiue for many years in makkal tv.congratulations again
- logeshwarry ganesan

Dear madam, Thankyou mam!! for such a beautiful awareness prog that U give us on Makkal tv KTVT. I am very grateful to U .You guide us like our mother does with full of love and concern. with best wishes
- Vatsa

Dear mam, I've seen your programme and love the way you answer. i'm married for 15years. we have 2 daughters. My husband went through brain surgery abt 5yrs ago (brain tumor). He's alright now. Just that he has pain around his eyes and headache after sex. So he always refuse. pls help. thank u
- sangeetha

I would like to meet you can you please give me appointment and where to meet you.
- Renuka

Mam I live in chennai and 57 years old.Its very nice the way you speak and solve the problems I have become your fan and keep telling every one to watch this TV. Please keep it up its very very good for today's women in the rat race of jobs and economic status, are not able to understand what a FAMILY is what role they have to play
- Renuka

Dear Dr., i want to know how to stop a person from drinking alcohol.M y husband daily he is consuming alcohol and he is fighting with me that i am not cooking well but it is not so because my son says it is not so i.e., my food is good only but i dont use more chilly because both me and my son has acidity. but my food is noy bad. the main problem is his addiction only, is it possible to stop it totally please can you tell me a remedy .Also i want to tell you that your program in makal tv is very good and also it is very useful only thing 4-5 their will be power cut in our area so i will watch only for half an hour, please tell them to retelecast it during some other time. also first 15 minutes coontinously you can allote for advice that you are giving which will go with out a break and we can follow it . Thanking you, Yours faithfuly, rajashree.
- rajashree

Dear Sangeeta, May be your husband is afraid that sex will harm his old brain injury because of the pain. Consult the neurologist. Continue to caress and hug to make love making a pleasure rather than a routine between couples.
- Dr.Shuba Charles

Dear Sangeeta, May be your husband is afraid that sex will harm his old brain injury because of the pain. Consult the neurologist. Continue to caress and hug to make love making a pleasure rather than a routine between couples.
- Dr.Shuba Charles